tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24484058877949111422024-02-18T22:14:12.832-05:00Single in the DistrictA Flirty Southerner Dating, Drinking, and Dallying in the Nation's Capital.LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.comBlogger160125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-59059406858513979612012-10-30T18:39:00.002-04:002012-10-30T18:39:53.429-04:00New Blog - District of Y'allumbiaHey everyone,<br />
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So after a lot of hemming and hawing on my end, I've decided to write a post about my new blogging experience, called...<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.yallumbia.com/"><b>District of Y'allumbia </b></a><br />
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<br />
What is the District of Y'allumbia you ask? It's a blog I've been trying to get off the ground for about... 6 months. I've been struggling to write posts, but I'm officially going to get my butt in gear.<br />
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So - if you'd like to traverse over to my new blog and see what you think, the web addy is, <a href="http://www.yallumbia.com/">www.yallumbia.com</a><br />
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<br />
What's Y'allumbia, you ask?<br />
<br />It's a blog about a Texan coping in the District... That'd be me... the Texan... learning how to adjust to real life... in the District of Columbia...<br />
<br />
Get it...<br />
<br />
Y'allumbia?<br />
<br />
Yeah... I think I'm funny, what of it?!<br />
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So come on over when you get a chance, <a href="http://www.yallumbia.com/">www.yallumbia.com</a><br />
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<br />LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-53803397652079160372012-06-27T19:41:00.002-04:002021-01-20T14:29:10.909-05:00Posts? What Posts?Uh... sorry guys...<br />
<br />
So I should have been writing posts about the toils and trials of being single... but I can't... cause I'm not, and one thing I know more than anything else, is that you should write about what you know. SO, should my foot hit the dating pond again, you can consider this a promise that I'll be back over here in a heart beat.<br />
<br />
But to the point of this post - After much debate, I've decided to launch a new blog, which will still contain my constant witticisms on life, and my somewhat cynical critiques on the dating world... just not over here... because I enacted a fatal flaw when I created this blog... I kept the name - too narrow. So I shant make that mistake again.<br />
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Please, stay tuned for more exciting information in the coming weeks.<br />
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Any Questions? Oh... yes you... the heavy breather, in the corner...<br />
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"Weeks?"<br />
Yes I need time to come up with a name. So, in the mean time you can still follow me on twitter, like always @SingleDC.<br />
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"Will your twitter name change?" <br />
You know I've thought about this... and I can't tell you for sure... I'm thinking, no, because it's short and sweet, and damnit I like it.<br />
<br />
"Why are you not on the market anymore?! I wanted to date you!"<br />
Let's be real, you probably did. Since I dated EVERYONE.<br />
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"What are some potential names for your new blog?"<br />
Uh... I'm not telling you. I don't want you to steal them. <br />
<br />
"What kind of stuff is going to be on your new blog?"<br />
Uh... I'm thinking lifestyle/bad-cooking advice/stories about playing kickball, dodgeball, and bocce ball in the district/rants on the fate of DC if Rumors closes/Stories about going to Rumors/Stories about that one time I walked by Rumors during the day and it was closed/Stories about me peering through the window at Rumors to see if people are dancing during lunch time... you know... my life.<br />
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In fact, I thought about the new name, Rumors Addict, but I decided that sent the wrong message... or the right one, you pick.<br />
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But any way...<br />
I'll keep you posted!<br />
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<br />LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-19050933077746986572012-05-30T20:33:00.001-04:002012-05-30T20:33:29.427-04:00Do You Want the Job - SinglesWarehouse<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So I know I've been pretty lackluster on my posts of late. I get it. I could offer you some excuse about how it's been a hectic year, and how all I want to do now when I get home is eat a friggin' cookie-in-a-cup and 'take two and call you in the morning.'</div>
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But I wont.<br />
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I'll just alude to the fact that I'm very busy. Ok... not alude, but come right out and say it... "I'M CRAZY BUSY." </div>
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So this, my most favorite part of my week, has gotten pushed to the wayside, but while I didn't manage to get a post up here on Monday... I did get a post up over at SinglesWarehouse -<a href="http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2012/05/do-you-want-the-job/"> Check it Out!</a></div>
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I could say that I promise I'm going to be better, but the truth is... I can't promise that. I can promise that I'm going to try and work out my schedule so that I get more time to write for all you lovely people. </div>
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In the meantime, expect some .GIFS. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">What I Say When My Date Says, "So Tell Me About Yourself."</span></div>
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<br /></div>LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-71298454899528393472012-05-18T14:49:00.002-04:002012-05-18T14:52:38.808-04:00My Life in Animated Gifs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>When I Walk Into Rumors </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>When My Friends Tell Me I Can't Order Pizza</b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">When My Friends Ask Me Why I Need Dating Advice</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">When My Friend B1 Cock Blocks Me</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>When I Can't Find My Cell Phone</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>When I Find Out The Restaurant Serves Chicken and Waffles for Brunch</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>When Someone Texts Me Before 9 on the Weekend</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>When Someone Says They're Not Going to Pay the $5 Cover Charge to Get Into Rumors</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>What Happens When I Cook for Guys I Like</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>When I Find Out Someone is From Texas</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>When My Friends Suggest We Metro to the Bars</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>When Someone Asks If I Want to Go for a Run</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>When an Ex Shows Up at Rumors</b></span></div>
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<br />LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-86911367075818047262012-05-15T00:27:00.000-04:002012-05-15T00:49:02.404-04:00New ChaptersAlmost exactly 2 years ago, I graduated from college and pulled on my big girl britches, determined to find a job working at the Travel Channel.<br />
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I had an interview, met lots of people, and then I never heard back...<br />
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I sent in more resumes, and never heard back... The Travel Channel just didn't want me.<br />
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I'll admit that I was devastated. I graduated Magna Cum Laude, Damnit!<br />
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It was my perfect company, and I had been so close I could taste the grease drippings off Adam Richman's plate only to be shut down in the final seconds of the challenge, but I soldiered through... I applied to job after job after job (350 within the first 4 months) with company after company.<br />
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Finally I landed an interview with Princess Cruise Lines, and they wanted me!<br />
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For $2000 a month LESS than I was worth (seriously next time you go on a cruise tip your waiter more than you should - they really make SPIT). I debated it for a split-second, before I got notice that my grandmother was starting to see the other side. So I turned down the position because, (1) they offered me less than minimum wage and (2) if I accepted their offer, I wouldn't be allowed to come home for the funeral.<br />
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Sure enough, a month later I was flying home.<br />
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After the funeral, I interviewed with Royal Caribbean, but their unprofessionalism in the hiring process actually pissed me off, and was - in my opinion - highly sketchy. So I dropped out of the final round and figured, I'll get something else.<br />
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I'll save you the long sob story to essentially tell you that for the past two years, I have been an "independent contractor," which is job speak for 'I don't want to pay to actually hire you, but I need you. So here I'll pay you about what you're worth but no benefits for you.'<br />
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It didn't really bother me all that much... I had what I needed. I could get all the necessities and saved some on the side, but I never really had job security, which in my opinion led to a lot of awkward first date conversations, which led to awkward dating interactions, which led to unstable dating environment, which is probably one of the main reasons I have stayed single for SO LONG. You try dating without job security, and tell me how long ambitious guys stick around. (Seriously the <a href="http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2012/05/the-shun-test/">Shun Test</a>).<br />
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I'm a member of the boomerang generation, and I was not proud of it. I wanted to assert my independence, pay my bills, buy a car, buy a house, love my own little adorable Shiba Inu puppy, and get on with my fucking life.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Adorable, Right?</td></tr>
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But fate had other plans. Instead of moving on with my life, I was instead thrust in the unfortunate lifestyle of never knowing what month in DC would be my last. Would this be the month I couldn't make it? Would this be the month my mom would have to fly up to DC and shove all my stuff in a U-haul? Would this be the month I'd boomerang back to the nest?<br />
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But somehow every time I would start packing my boxes, I'd luck out.</div>
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I'd get a paid internship or land a job doing x,y and z. And that would keep me in DC for a few months longer... and those months turned into months and months and months. </div>
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But they were always unsure, unstable, and unsatisfying. </div>
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I wasn't getting to do what I had dreamed of my entire life. I wasn't getting a house, or a steady pay-check, or an adorable Shiba Inu puppy. </div>
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And after the year I've had so far, I think I actually know why.<br />
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In February my final project with my old company was winding down, when I got a phone call from my mother... </div>
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My father had a "cardiac-episode," one day after my then-boss's mother had her own medical emergency.<br />
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Had I been working anywhere else, my boss wouldn't have understood, and I wouldn't have had the opportunity to drop everything and fly home to support my mother for the next few weeks. </div>
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If Princess Cruise Lines had offered me $1000 more than they had, I probably would have taken it and been on a boat. If Travel would have offered me a job, I probably wouldn't have had enough time accrued to earn those weeks off. If Royal Caribbean hadn't dipped their toe in the sketch waters, I'd have been on a boat. </div>
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Essentially without my Independent Contracting lifestyle, I would have had to sit in DC driving myself crazy and buying out all the local CVS' supplies of Puffs Plus with Lotion (because seriously I don't know how you savages can use regular Kleenexes), while annoying my mother/brother/cousins/uncles/aunts to no end trying to get updates. </div>
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I'm about to be one of those HORRIBLY cliche individuals, because a week or so after I got back, I landed an extended contract gig that made up for the two weeks off, and within a month of getting back I was in the interview process of landing a job at my dream company in DC. </div>
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And here's the cliche... <b>life has a plan</b>. You're meant to be where you are, whether you understand it or not. </div>
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So while I didn't get started right away on my big life plans of my own house, a new car, a steady pay-check, and adopting a beautiful Shiba Inu, I did get the opportunity to support the two people who have supported me so much over the last 24 years.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This one is just because I can...</td></tr>
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I know my mom probably didn't need me there every hour hovering in the hospital because she worked in cardiac rehab for quite a few years, but I know she appreciated not having to run errands around town (she rather enjoyed cracking the whip and sitting back as I did them), while her husband and my father recovered from surgery, so that she could be there for him (because he's not a good sick-person - seriously, try giving him a regular Puffs tissue and be ready to hear a 3 hour lecture on the benefits of Puffs Plus). </div>
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And while I'm excited to start this new chapter in my life, I'm not going to forget that the past two years have been a really fucking lame time of constantly writing resumes and sending them out into the world. I know how I got here. I know how much work it took and how much "coming out of my shell" had to happen so that I could network to where I am. And I know that I can be damn proud of myself.</div>
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So here's to me and to all the new graduates out there who are just starting their search. I'm not going to lie to you. Job searching sucks balls. Contrary to popular belief a degree does not guarantee you a job nowadays because so many people are getting them in today's society, but you've made it this far, so I know that you can make it the rest of the way. </div>
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Chin up. You'll be fine. </div>
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So now that I've reached this pivotal stage in my life... I'll work on the next one... house, car, and my own Shiba Inu. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/52/Shiba_inu.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/52/Shiba_inu.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Seriously, starting up a Shiba Saving's Account</td></tr>
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</div>LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-37492653170087439672012-05-07T16:13:00.000-04:002012-05-07T16:19:27.291-04:00Multiples Schmultiples<span style="font-family: inherit;">So last week as my kickball team was dominating the flip cup table, I took a break from my championship-flip-cup-survivor win and leaned on the bar while sending out text messages to all the cool kids. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Before too long, this girl kicked up a conversation with me about who we were/where we're from (all the normal DC stuff - You've seen the video... ).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/FuPwy77scvw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But like all conversations involving two girls in DC, it slowly veered into the direction of menfolk. Now my kickball league is rife with attractive looking men, so she started pointing out the ones she thought were attractive, and I politely nodded and agreed (though her taste teetered towards more effeminate men). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">But then </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">She was like, "Ok, who do you think is cute?" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">"Meh, that guy's ok... and I guess him..."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">"You're not really into picking out guys for yourself are you?" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">"Meh, I'm dating someone, and I just don't date multiples anymore." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">"What? Girl, you're young! You should be partying while the iron is hot! Why shove all your eggs in one basket?" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">And aside from her rampant use of cliches I understood what she was saying, but as the months and years have gone by, and I've read more and more blogs about the benefits of dating multiples (all of which I normally - totally agree with) I just don't think I can handle it anymore. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I already have a shoddy memory and trying to remember intricate details is like trying to play concentration, but instead of turning over cards, I'm trying to remember the intimate details of a man's life... and fucking up, royally. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">"Oh, wait you didn't go to school in Virginia?" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">"No... Montana...."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">"I could have swore.... wait didn't you use to fly fish in the Adirondacks?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">"I've never fished a day in my life, I hate worms..."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">"SO you're not thinking about opening a fish hatch...."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">And I don't even get to finish the sentence as he walks out the door. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Yes, when I was free wheeling and thoroughly enjoying the single life, I enjoyed the shit out of dating a plethora of guys. In fact, dating multiple guys gives you the opportunity to get a liberal arts degree in the different facets of life, but more than likely as I met each new one... I just kept getting more and more disappointed... It was like picking dates out of a grab bag of boring unhappiness and mud puddles. SERIOUSLY. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I feel like a part of me was dating the entirety of DC and coming up empty handed. The interesting ones were scum bags and the nice ones were boring as shit. Maybe I shouldn't say that, but it's the truth. Trying to find a nice, funny, interesting, cute guy in DC was like searching for one individual krill in the entirety of all bodies of water on the planet, and good luck to ya. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's my hypothesis that the reason people date multiple people is because they're not getting everything they need romantically from one person. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hear me out. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Why would I need to date 5 guys instead of just the right 1 guy?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">If my one guy is funny, adventurous, energetic, exciting, romantic, tender, caring, and handsome... why would I be looking for someone else?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>I wouldn't.</b> Any sane individual would realize that the one guy is amazing, and they'd more than likely stick it out with him, because if you're dating someone amazing anyone else you try to find to compare is going to fall short and just lead to constant complications.... </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">As opposed to dating 5 different guys because Guy 1 is handsome and sexy, but he's not very loyal and kind of a scum. Guy 2, is hilarious and has a great personality, but he's missing something... Guy 3 could be highly intelligent and hit all of the right attractive buttons, but his dry sense of humor leaves something to be desired. Guy 4, could be a bag of dull rocks, but he plans the most exciting dates, while Guy 5 could just hit all your pheromone buttons, but you have nothing to talk about. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">In my opinion, if you've found someone who empowers you to be a better you and who interests you on the 6 levels of dating attraction (humor, intelligence, food similarities, physical, emotional, and goal orientation) then you wont want to date anyone else, because they're checking off all your boxes and making it into your primary spot. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Yes, I think that in your early dating life (late teens thru mid twenties), when you're trying to find yourself and find out what you're attracted to, then dating multiples is great, but after a certain point in time it just becomes a bit immature and more an avoidance tactic than a mating tactic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Sure sometimes it's difficult to find guys in DC that actually stick around for more than a year or two, because we're so transient, but eventually when you do find someone here, if you mess it up by waisting time proving how forward thinking you are by dating 5 different people at the same time, then you seriously risk the chance of not exploring everything that one awesome person has because they think you're not serious about dating for something more (versus dating just for fun). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Why risk it? </span></div>LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-89479855866241086562012-05-01T20:38:00.000-04:002012-05-01T20:38:29.362-04:00The What-ifsIt took some begging and pleading, but I finally got this posted courtesy of the nice people over at SinglesWarehouse.<br />
<br />
You know all those little doubts that pop-up when you start something new and exciting? I don't have the answer for how to make them stop, but I do have a method to quell that annoying little voice in your head asking you all those "What-Ifs." <a href="http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2012/05/the-what-ifs/"><b>Check it out</b></a>LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-89058064886066168542012-04-26T23:26:00.000-04:002012-04-26T23:27:07.591-04:00IT'S DRAFT WEEK!!!OK, sooooo I have a confession to make... I love football. Whoosh, I said it. I'm also newly obsessed with the draft. Yes, I've watched in years past, but this year - I even went so far to get updates of every first round pick sent to my phone...<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://sonofwashington.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/pick.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="222" src="http://sonofwashington.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/pick.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You know why RG3 is awesome? He played college ball in Texas.</td></tr>
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<br />
Yeah, shut up. I get it. That's weird.<br />
<br />
My team (SAINTS!) doesn't even get a pick till the third round, so I've been trying to get excited by who the Eagles chose - Cox, yeah? Yeah?<br />
<br />
With that said, I apologize for the absence of posts this week on this lovely blog here, however if you'd like to read my blog post over on SinglesWarehouse, <a href="http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2012/04/the-crawl/"><b>here's the link!</b></a><br />
<br />
It's a great post about "The Crawl," aka what us ladies do to make sure you menfolk are still attracted to us in the morning.<br />
<br />
And if you missed last week's SinglesWarehouse post about purging your little black book, check it out <a href="http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2012/04/purging-your-little-black-book/"><b>here! </b></a>LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-12615476502590011452012-04-19T16:31:00.001-04:002012-04-19T16:31:49.980-04:00Body Type... Own ItSo after seriously considering for the better part of a week that I was going to draw out female body types, similar to what I did for the menfolk, I realized that if some girl drew a big circle and told me that that circle represented me as a female - I'd be kind of insulted.<br />
<br />
Pssh. Have you met me? I'd start a fucking coup.<br />
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I also got tired of Draw Something and so instead decided that since I characterize my body shape as that of Sara Ramirez... that maybe I should do just that.<br />
<br />
You look confused.<br />
<br />
Don't worry. I'm still doing the "Body Type" for females thing, but instead of drawing, because lets be real, those drawings sucked - I'm doing it with pictures of gorgeous fucking women - because they really come in all shapes and sizes.<br />
<br />
<br />
Let's start with Average.<br />
<br />
I can hear your first question already... What's average anyway. You might look around your friend group and automatically assume that most of the people that you hang out with are "average." Well that's not the actual average.<br />
<br />
According to some study - somewhere (I read a shit ton of things in a given week - I forget where I read this), the average size for a female is a size 12...<br />
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<b>Average </b>is as Average does, so accordingly, I give you...<br />
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<a href="http://images.askmen.com/galleries/actress/sara-ramirez/pictures/sara-ramirez-picture-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://images.askmen.com/galleries/actress/sara-ramirez/pictures/sara-ramirez-picture-1.jpg" width="245" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><b><i>Sara Ramirez<br />Tony Award Winning Actress</i></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
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<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
Doesn't she look beautiful (I have a girl crush OK?!).</div>
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That's right, I am totally average in body shape. Woo! And if you look like this then you too are Average in body shape.<br />
<br />
Personally, I wish I could lie to you and say that I am an 8, but the truth of the matter is the pair of pants I bought out with Sam this past weekend were a 12... most of the time I'm a 8/10 in dresses because they're forgiving of that damn Douthey Butt I got handed down from my Mother's side of the family, but I digress...<br />
<br />
I assume that this is average not only because it's my shape/size, but because it is the traditional hourglass figure bumped up a few notches, aka adjusted for the growing size of America's women. And whether you want to admit it or not... women are built like that for a reason.<br />
<br />
And off we go!<br />
<br />
Next <b>Overweight</b> Vs- <b>Skinny</b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://content6.flixster.com/photo/12/17/22/12172296_sma.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://content6.flixster.com/photo/12/17/22/12172296_sma.jpg" width="218" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Gabourey Sidibe</i></b></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://static.poponthepop.com/files/keiravenice1jpg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://static.poponthepop.com/files/keiravenice1jpg.jpg" width="224" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Keira Knightley</i></b></td></tr>
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Both of these Academy Award Nominated Actresses unfortunately fall on either extreme ends of the spectrum. Gabby is overweight, we all know it. And Keira, well the plain fact is that her head is actually larger than her waist... She looks like a bobble head. She's too fucking skinny. I was going to put a picture of Kate Moss up here, but I couldn't do it, she looked like a pipe cleaner.<br />
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<br /></div>
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Like I said in the <a href="http://single-dc.blogspot.com/2012/04/body-type-its-not-aspirational-category.html">male version</a> of this post... Skinny is NOT an aspirational Category... And unless you have dreams to become the world's largest woman, neither is being overweight. </div>
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And now for <b>Curvy </b>vs <b>Thin</b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.starpulse.com/news/bloggers/10/blog_images/sofia-vergara-13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://images.starpulse.com/news/bloggers/10/blog_images/sofia-vergara-13.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Sofia Vergara</i></b><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/8100000/Emma-emma-stone-8174926-814-1222.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/8100000/Emma-emma-stone-8174926-814-1222.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Emma Stone</i></b></td></tr>
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The difference between the male curvy and the female curvy? Sex appeal. You look at a girl's curvy and think... DAMN!<br /><br />
Like Sofia Vergara, ie, think the "perfect dimensions" of the hourglass silhouette and go with that.<br />
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Now as for Emma Stone's thinner body type you notice the fact that yes... it appears that she has no body fat, but she still has a little shape to her. Get the picture?!?!?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
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Since I have NO knowledge of jacked female celebrities, I jumped off the beaten path. I have no idea who these women are, but I know they match the body type, they're cute, and they're going to have to make do.<br /><br />
We have <b>Jacked</b>, <b>Fit</b>, and <b>Athletic.</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwkysSYUWRBoxRt5Nwqwf8aWtouw60OYp_EEZ0Bsi5tyPZiP84NBA85b2VngQU6kS_o_oyYPRZx8burli-P0CW8fpN5Jy_8IH3hpqLIt2MaYxLj71EMwObFeW5FzHRwhVvfH9gLrHM8Po/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-04-19+at+3.52.41+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwkysSYUWRBoxRt5Nwqwf8aWtouw60OYp_EEZ0Bsi5tyPZiP84NBA85b2VngQU6kS_o_oyYPRZx8burli-P0CW8fpN5Jy_8IH3hpqLIt2MaYxLj71EMwObFeW5FzHRwhVvfH9gLrHM8Po/s320/Screen+shot+2012-04-19+at+3.52.41+PM.png" width="231" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwkysSYUWRBoxRt5Nwqwf8aWtouw60OYp_EEZ0Bsi5tyPZiP84NBA85b2VngQU6kS_o_oyYPRZx8burli-P0CW8fpN5Jy_8IH3hpqLIt2MaYxLj71EMwObFeW5FzHRwhVvfH9gLrHM8Po/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-04-19+at+3.52.41+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.figurerx.com/AngelaK07MoState1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.figurerx.com/AngelaK07MoState1.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://velocity.t-nation.com/forum_images/a/4/a4d12-melisabarber13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://velocity.t-nation.com/forum_images/a/4/a4d12-melisabarber13.jpg" width="197" /></a></div>
You'll notice the differences right away, if you're clever. Jacked has intense muscle definition.<br />
Fit looks like she spends a lot of time hitting the gym and doing some serious crunches - She looks like she knows what she's doing.<br />
And last but not least, Athletic - Notice that she does have some muscle definition, but that she still seems to have the familiar female shape, as opposed to the lovely ladies up top who have the block body build, typical of someone who has increased testosterone from working out all the time.<br />
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And then the last two body types that I'm acknowledging (if you want to see "Used Up" look up Kate Moss or Lindsey Lohan, because seriously... gross).<br />
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<b>A Little Extra </b>vs <b>Full-Bodied</b><br />
<b><br /></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://binside.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/08/12/nikki_blonsky.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://binside.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/08/12/nikki_blonsky.jpg" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Nikki Blonsky</i></b></td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://wallcrow.com/images/J/Jennifer%20Hudson/Jennifer%20Hudson-0417.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://wallcrow.com/images/J/Jennifer%20Hudson/Jennifer%20Hudson-0417.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Jennifer Hudson </i>THEN</b></td></tr>
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'<br />
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<div style="text-align: left;">
And to round everything out we have Jennifer Hudson over on the left. Notice the difference in between her and Nikki. Nikki's shape is closer to nudging overweight vs, Jennifer's who should she lose a few pounds (or a shit ton - healthily) she could start to nudge average (or blow past it) into curvy, since we've all seen what she looks like now. </div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
SO that wraps it up for body typing yourself on internet dating sites. If you haven't seen your body type on either of these posts, I really can't help you, because I think I've got a pretty good gamut going here. You can always shoot me an email or a tweet @SingleDC. </div>
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Happy Dating! </div>
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</div>LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-26814766516744762252012-04-16T12:51:00.002-04:002012-04-16T12:51:58.312-04:00Purging Your Little Black BookAnother great post over on the SinglesWarehouse website.<br />
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This one is about how I purged my little black book and opened up my life into something so much more productive. <a href="http://networkedblogs.com/wujnb">CLICK HERE</a>LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-40522556376416122122012-04-11T23:01:00.000-04:002012-04-11T23:07:05.380-04:00Body Type... It's Not an Aspirational Category<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Welcome esteemed reader to Single in the District's blog post about how it's not O.k. to lie about your body type: Male Version. </div>
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We all know by now that I am familiar with online dating. Big woo! </div>
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But what you do not know is that my biggest pet peeve is someone not knowing what their body shape is, because I do not want to search for "full bodied" and see a pip-squeak. I don't like it. It messes up my hours spent perusing the men folk, as I'm sure it has yours. </div>
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So in honor of my newly acquired passion for draw something, I thought I'd draw something that we're going to call a "guideline" for your body shape and exactly what you should be checking on your profile. </div>
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Let's start with your run of the mill <b>AVERAGE MAN. </b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw3H4Aohpjzd0SWT4PeNtgOFq-KlS6fYgufa9x9Xr-uDGiT0aWKcqiGx0RsTkLwlOwrmienVQPsgP3NHJJRq-Rsmp4RFWLsiq4Mgs3U0zC7Y8jAbeTB60ifS2jsO3yM50rVaIgS-BPTt8/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.00.00+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw3H4Aohpjzd0SWT4PeNtgOFq-KlS6fYgufa9x9Xr-uDGiT0aWKcqiGx0RsTkLwlOwrmienVQPsgP3NHJJRq-Rsmp4RFWLsiq4Mgs3U0zC7Y8jAbeTB60ifS2jsO3yM50rVaIgS-BPTt8/s320/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.00.00+PM.png" width="156" /></a></div>
This is what women think of when they think Average Man. They think, "plain - run of the mill." I see this picture and think meh, it's like how I imagine Bill Murray is shaped like.<br />
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Next we have in a great juxtaposition is <b>OVERWEIGHT</b> and <b>SKINNY. </b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN_RSfrP-pB_ZMw4S9r5vunQSo-AA1Eaye07vYdPWkAIYwyD_wYnY_je_Je-thSZR2C8BwHSSbAU7c0wxWVDNzL7Ix9DcTsSaQa0s7xvNh6HXvDRhmeO18WQuzTNnXqdXFh9JikfDfPs4/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.13.23+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN_RSfrP-pB_ZMw4S9r5vunQSo-AA1Eaye07vYdPWkAIYwyD_wYnY_je_Je-thSZR2C8BwHSSbAU7c0wxWVDNzL7Ix9DcTsSaQa0s7xvNh6HXvDRhmeO18WQuzTNnXqdXFh9JikfDfPs4/s320/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.13.23+PM.png" width="203" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5IJTaozl3ddKWrP_9aKw83ThHGeFqnp25UAMwrF2iMQtPwDJjMQTlWEFkGVKRdE5ODEf7SKyxkNVj36eRvEat89FKFhj6C08sRSdX0XAMOcp-7JzYGElSVsfQ0ypTPZC75g4q259vj_k/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.19.16+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5IJTaozl3ddKWrP_9aKw83ThHGeFqnp25UAMwrF2iMQtPwDJjMQTlWEFkGVKRdE5ODEf7SKyxkNVj36eRvEat89FKFhj6C08sRSdX0XAMOcp-7JzYGElSVsfQ0ypTPZC75g4q259vj_k/s320/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.19.16+PM.png" width="143" /></a></div>
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Skinny is NOT thin. Skinny is what I think of when I think of a male version of Kate Moss. I don't know of any male version, but if you look up Kate Moss you'll get the drift. Overweight is Jim Belushi meets Norm from Cheers (I always bring it back). </div>
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Next up the male version of <b>CURVY</b> vs. <b>THIN. </b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMeqbb1b0PUy0nnysJ7BpYYjrkcDgdTrdIHOK6NipWHaWZ5aLKgFNNyR2eKZGAbXSpDcg4078uIc3fe6VJs7rLDVXwFprlpIL8gnOaMkR8-stzejn-onW-Yckz17cIUn-8GYQMmYQeMy0/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.07.28+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMeqbb1b0PUy0nnysJ7BpYYjrkcDgdTrdIHOK6NipWHaWZ5aLKgFNNyR2eKZGAbXSpDcg4078uIc3fe6VJs7rLDVXwFprlpIL8gnOaMkR8-stzejn-onW-Yckz17cIUn-8GYQMmYQeMy0/s320/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.07.28+PM.png" width="215" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi66g-ZvGKhpQrNopCIE9Pio7AJx6gEzOCkSadpFb0suqKQsDg1pGuYJxpHPpV1bkPcA5Vo4ZnaqoILjAHemJ1ThXRPvZ1rLxQbD7NXBMQdlvQyYY6Mw8xyH3_gztzJwCiBcxgLQsCXZE8/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.01.05+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi66g-ZvGKhpQrNopCIE9Pio7AJx6gEzOCkSadpFb0suqKQsDg1pGuYJxpHPpV1bkPcA5Vo4ZnaqoILjAHemJ1ThXRPvZ1rLxQbD7NXBMQdlvQyYY6Mw8xyH3_gztzJwCiBcxgLQsCXZE8/s320/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.01.05+PM.png" width="126" /></a></div>
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While Curvy may look similar to Overweight, to the trained eye they are very different. One looks like a pear the other looks like a watermelon. We got it? Thin is NOT skinny. To the untrained eye you would take a look at this lovely brown gentleman and think, "meh he's skinny," if you're comparing him to the curvalicious man on the left, BUT in comparison to Mr. Holocaust/Anorexia up above, this guy has a little meat on his bones. I'm going to be real with you, I think skinny is not something to aspire to - thin might be - if you're into that... </div>
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Now for my favorite level of distinction, readers. What's the difference between <b>JACKED, ATHLETIC, </b>and <b>FIT. </b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEtkllsq8BnkYQtGtLTtMGy2-ljMH0ABOytrBxoOyKJB6NYPyM7GDctPnpYwE-XAlyFaiy9LeXZ332MmJtW1Hz6LJDksew0wAVXaiCiFG56x1jeJDJUoIef3ZCblzH-_Z63NjnI8m5bdc/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.18.23+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEtkllsq8BnkYQtGtLTtMGy2-ljMH0ABOytrBxoOyKJB6NYPyM7GDctPnpYwE-XAlyFaiy9LeXZ332MmJtW1Hz6LJDksew0wAVXaiCiFG56x1jeJDJUoIef3ZCblzH-_Z63NjnI8m5bdc/s320/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.18.23+PM.png" width="245" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLavxqfuk8fztiwLanHfpLs7zfl7lR1BKElWYqH_hDAGXfjAdmIZ9njuhnGN_MtBOch9fgWhO2aqc541HFD9ONbPzIUBQ2gaEdUFak8UGloNVkbVR7aHj9EyEQrOk1aymsxNr_yaJzN2I/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.12.38+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLavxqfuk8fztiwLanHfpLs7zfl7lR1BKElWYqH_hDAGXfjAdmIZ9njuhnGN_MtBOch9fgWhO2aqc541HFD9ONbPzIUBQ2gaEdUFak8UGloNVkbVR7aHj9EyEQrOk1aymsxNr_yaJzN2I/s320/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.12.38+PM.png" width="206" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuF1MogI4_taUzon3kYhMjawUM8YwUxrP65m3JLO5BTXmG7I226E8PyIAHlcTBgDL6b_Nk96x8eAvSkHy6eroy72wnnsUKvIoOcnAU2NRq2gHFmy30TyNHbp89aey_0Gn2mBQKN8K4eNQ/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.10.38+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuF1MogI4_taUzon3kYhMjawUM8YwUxrP65m3JLO5BTXmG7I226E8PyIAHlcTBgDL6b_Nk96x8eAvSkHy6eroy72wnnsUKvIoOcnAU2NRq2gHFmy30TyNHbp89aey_0Gn2mBQKN8K4eNQ/s320/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.10.38+PM.png" width="190" /></a></div>
Well a lot of times that varies based on your determining factor of what makes an athlete. But if you truly think about the fact that athletes can come in every shape and size, it's truly based on the "ideal male shape." This shape shows the that this guy can build a house if need be - the TRIANGLE.<br />
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The Triangle shape forms the basis of Jacked, Fit, and Athletic. In my opinion - disagree if you'd like, but the basic triangle shape is that of this red-shirted sexy man down at the bottom. I'm going to call him Athletic because of the following reasons - Rugby players fit this shape, AFL players fit this shape, Construction workers, hay bailers, and men that spend a few hours in the gym a week can all maintain this shape. That doesn't mean that their "Fit," but that they have an "athletic build" to them.<br />
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In my opinion the difference between Fit and Jacked is muscle build. While a Fit man will have good muscle tone and you can see those little thing-a-ma-jigs by their pants' line, a Jacked man should make you reminisce about a time when Arnold Schwarzenegger spent more time competing in body building competitions and less time tanking his marriage.<br />
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And if I'm not mistaken that leaves me with just two more body types based on OKCupid's body type drop-down list.<br />
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The two pieces of man meat down here are <b>A LITTLE EXTRA </b>and <b>FULL BODIED. </b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoYUgwIARYHSK7XwXGcjJ0kD2p9eZ51fXbftlEeD_AAEQzHzemwX1nr-hxUrvdW9pmmCop05BnJLxdCvZgw1Hbs9JEEZR5ii6VgWazmd-XmFVdB7KMR6DoXM_hCZ9nrnnieCgi3afFaH4/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.15.17+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoYUgwIARYHSK7XwXGcjJ0kD2p9eZ51fXbftlEeD_AAEQzHzemwX1nr-hxUrvdW9pmmCop05BnJLxdCvZgw1Hbs9JEEZR5ii6VgWazmd-XmFVdB7KMR6DoXM_hCZ9nrnnieCgi3afFaH4/s320/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.15.17+PM.png" width="177" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji0KKWkirGgIL90FiMuZE52RvGq9SLaLt0LSTsDPd65pg0uJvM1aRLQJ69b9_yUlxQRCY4K7tIWiGaUtgZB4UFDC1qygNK8q8WJQd9CsZu9aHugUmEqC0Deu9F2QAGQuT41gEIrC3SjrM/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.21.16+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji0KKWkirGgIL90FiMuZE52RvGq9SLaLt0LSTsDPd65pg0uJvM1aRLQJ69b9_yUlxQRCY4K7tIWiGaUtgZB4UFDC1qygNK8q8WJQd9CsZu9aHugUmEqC0Deu9F2QAGQuT41gEIrC3SjrM/s320/Screen+shot+2012-04-11+at+10.21.16+PM.png" width="190" /></a></div>
<i>A Little Extra Full Bodied</i><br />
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Unfortunately for Mr. Full Bodied over there I suck at drawing full bodied men. But Mr. Loving the Lavender aka, Mr. A Little Extra is the body type of all beer drinkers everywhere. You can deny it all you want, but if you're starting to see a lil' bit of something hanging over your pants in the morning, you've officially hit the list of men who know a good pizza/beer combo when they see one. (I really can't say anything about this... I have an addiction people). </div>
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And Mr. Full Bodied, well he probably let his gym membership lapse a few months/years in a row and doesn't really care. If you're trying to picture the ideal full bodied man, think Seth Rogen in Knocked Up. </div>
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So there you have it... oh... you say there's one more... this mythical <b>USED UP </b>body type... What is it? Idk, I think it's a unicorn or a leprechaun with a pot of gold. </div>
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Not really. I think it's probably best described as the body of a meth addict. I was going to post a picture and be all shocking and life-like in opposition to the cartoon draw somethings up there, but after digging around I got grossed out, so you'll just have to look it up yourself. </div>
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So yeah, stay tuned, because next Thursday we'll be examining female body types and how we're all curvy and thin! Because seriously isn't that the only choice on there? ;)</div>
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Happy Dating! </div>
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<br />LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-66858443421574260772012-04-09T17:04:00.001-04:002012-04-09T17:11:28.839-04:00Slut List<span style="font-size: large;">Last week I joined the esteemed group of experts over at Singles Warehouse! I'm still doing the whole Monday/Thursday Blogs, but one every week will just be over on their blog!</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">So this week's post is The Slut List or how to quantitatively measure all that sexytime you've been having. </span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://t.co/L183oTU7">http://t.co/L183oTU7</a></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2012/04/the-slut-list/"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsYMTodkubPL9j9TS58AfEw_F2HCh6gYMlXwxT5542-M6CIaCRLj1kMiXSMo4uAZM9UPgHpc7_WZSodx6_HYUEBodtA46jgnITKzzG2TYRbPsZNAhSIRfOiiEC9obLJJQrc6cj2WosmmA/s400/Screen+shot+2012-04-09+at+5.08.12+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2012/04/introducing-singledc-to-the-singles-warehouse-team-swexpert/"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuYHa5dRGnCjiodO3YqjoLNTg68r7ndtADD8uFFtPU1LPvZ2Z7wGRYM475ueiLeVJACCVt8Bi403wU8WhccpIKok-81S23Ygbe288Nhydcfk46tsnecZ-lam1ahzGcMpBhIpl0n_YRMPQ/s320/SWPic.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-585338375735294472012-04-05T07:45:00.002-04:002012-04-20T09:52:10.899-04:00Off The HuntI'm done with prowling, trolling, getting dolled up, asking someone to take me out, asking someone if they're single, going out to bars with other intentions, clicking 2 stars on quickmatch, etc...<br />
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I'm done.<br />
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I'm done sitting around with people in relationships and listening to them spout off useless quotes about how, "you'll find him when you're not looking," "you should meet my friend Mike," or "I'm so lucky to have my boyfriend Barry." I'm going to say this right here and now, if you're one of those people in relationships that constantly spout this line of B.S. to your single friends, you sound like a fucking dick. The condescension is not appreciated. I'll meet him when I'm supposed to whether I'm looking or not. I do not want to meet your friend Mike. And I don't like your boyfriend Barry so... shut it!<br />
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You know what... take me out of the dating pool, right now, because I don't want to be one of those people. In fact, I'm just going to COMPLETELY jump off the bridge of well-adjusted 20-something and plummet right off into the mirth of spinsterhood, if I have to hear you people say one more damn thing about it.<br />
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I'm going to embrace the spinster lifestyle right now. I'm going to find me a pair of knitting needles, an unloveable kid to dote on, hooligans to yell at, and tomorrow, I'm going to start pining for some lost love who died or was taken away from me by my parents, who didn't understand our love. Granted none of that happened, but I've imagined up my lost lover, and he was a damn sexy man when we had our fake affair.<br />
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Now that I got all that off my chest...<br />
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Dating is like a job hunt. It's a full time job and when you write about it, it's a double full time job, and ladies and gentlemen. I'm taking a dating break. I deserve it!<br />
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I want to be chased for a change.<br />
I want to feel free of OkCupid's many, many profiles, that are literally sitting there, waiting - hoping - longing for me to look at them.<br />
I want to think about me for a chan... oh, wait. I already do that all the time.<br />
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The cycle of dating is constant and consistent. I've seen all my friends go through it, whether they admit it or not.<br />
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At some point in time you ended a relationship... you were (1)newly single.<br />
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You moped around for a little bit and then (2)jumped back into the dating pond. YOU WERE SO EXCITED. The possibilities were endless. You started dating some people, things were looking good, then it ended... you tried again... then it ended... you tried again... ended.<br />
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You stared looking around and realized (3) the possibilities were not endless - in fact, you start to feel exhausted, run down by dating. So instead you back off because constantly swimming in a pool for months and months and months at a time becomes overwhelming.<br />
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So you (4)jump out. You wander around for a while. Happy to hang out with just your friends and be one of the guys.<br />
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Then you start to want to have a guy... because they're nice and friendly and smell good and like scrabble... So you (5)get serious about dating and you jump back in. Swim around. Find the shark of your dreams and swim off into the sunset until the next ending, which could happen tomorrow or the next week or the next month, or year, or decade.<br />
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Unfortunately for me, lately I've had a bunch of sunsets lately without any promise of a sunrise and I'm tired.<br />
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Don't think that this means that I'm going to quit blogging. Haha, no. You're stuck with me. I don't plan on giving up blogging any time soon, because I have shit to say and for some odd reason you want to listen to me. For that I thank you!<br />
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If you're actually curious about what's going on in my dating life, I recently realized that I was holding myself back by constantly relying on the male neggers in my life to text me and then I would go running, but I was gaining nothing by my continued devotion to guys who weren't all that devoted to me, so I stopped.<br />
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I blocked numbers, deleted facebooks, and cut ties. Because you can't move forward while you've still got one foot in a bear trap.<br />
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The only downside is now I don't feel very loved... I don't mean that I'm not loved, because I know I am, but I used to get texts from my rotating "harem" (<--- I use that word lightly), at least 2/3 times a day. Now, I'm lucky if my mother texts me. I know it's for the best to move on and move forward, but am I seriously that un-fun to text?! God, please don't answer that.<br />
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<br />LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-1225866225491733582012-04-01T21:48:00.000-04:002012-04-01T21:53:38.434-04:005 Tips to Better FlirtingWe've all heard the typical flirting techniques - the hair twirl, the joyful laugh, the wink (I only know one man that can pull this off and still make me want to kiss him), the look into their eyes, a little flattery, etc... BUT! There are a few more tips (aka the under-utilized bits of flirting) that can take your typical flirts from "ow", to POW!<br />
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<i>And yes I realize how cheesy that sounded.</i><br />
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You don't have to be the funniest person in the room to get a girl/guy interested in chatting you up. In fact, you don't even have to be the cutest person in the room. All you need to do is keep the following tips in your back pocket to pull out at a moment's notice.<br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">1. Smile</span></u></b><br />
This is by far the most important flirting tip I could ever give you. A well-timed smile will get you so far in your flirting life that even if you can't master any other technique, you'll still be well equipped to make it out there in the real world.<br />
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BUT there are different kinds of smiles that you need to remember so that you're not just making the same goofy face every five seconds.<br />
<br />
<i><b>(A) The Genuine Smile</b></i><br />
I'm not going to explain this one, because if you need an explanation on how to smile like a normal well-adjusted human being you shouldn't be flirting in the first place.<br />
<br />
<b><i>(B) The Coy Smile</i></b><br />
This is best employed when you first meet each other, or when the person you're flirting with gives you a compliment. It's typically employed with a slight head bob implying modesty and shyness. If you're not shy. PRETEND. No actually don't (I'm never going to suggest you be someone you're not), but if the person you're talking to does say something that makes you feel a little shy or a little humble, react accordingly.<br />
<br />
<i><b>(C) The Come Hither Smile</b></i><br />
I'm not one to brag, but this is my best smile, because a come hither smile that gets the desired results takes practice and dedication, and trust you me I have had some practice.<br />
<br />
Like your first kiss, your come hither smile will give a lasting impression of who you are as a 'seductress' or 'seducer'... "If it is weak, she will think you are weak. And if it is comical she will think you are a clown... And as [you are] never weak and only rarely a clown, your first [come hither smile] must be all the things that you are" (thank you, Porthos - Disney's The Three Musketeers, 1993).<br />
<br />
You can see a pretty good example at minute 2:35 of "Hungry Like the Wolf," if you can get past all of Duran Duran's bad acting...<br />
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<i><b>(D) The Really? You, Really, Just Said That? Smile</b></i><br />
<b style="font-style: italic;"> </b>This smile is that smile you give them right after they've made the dumbest joke told in the history of the world. You know exactly what I'm talking about because we've all been there. We've all been in the midst of one of those stories where the ending is less than savory or the story is a bit too bizarre to be accurate, but you still want the potential to know that you can roll with the punches. So you smile. And then you probably give an eye roll. And then you say, "good story bro, tell it again," or "and then you found $5?"<br />
<br />
<i><b>(E) The You're Too Damn Cute Smile </b></i><br />
<b style="font-style: italic;"> </b>As opposed to the smile above where you think something your potential said is bizarre, this smile shows how much you're into their stories because they're cute. You know what I'm talking about it's when a guy starts talking about how his puppy did the funniest thing, or when a girl starts talking about her passion for baking blueberry crumble.<br />
<br />
It's a genuine, attracted smile that continues to convey interest, and most times it's associated with a hand touching their heart of grabbing for your hand. Do it. No matter how silly you think you look. Do it.<br />
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">2. Touch Without Being Creepy</span></u></b><br />
You all know exactly what I'm talking about. How many times have you been brushed by in a club and some creepster grabs your ass? How many times have you been chatting with a really cute potential and then all the sudden they "accidentally" boob graze. It's not cool, and it will get you nothing but grief and the black list.<br />
<br />
If you're going to TOUCH somebody, you can touch them in two ways - physically and emotionally.<br />
<b><i><br /></i></b><br />
<i style="font-weight: bold;">(A) Physically</i><br />
Physical touches when flirting should be limited to non-erogenous zones. Unless you've already progressed past flirting into more intimate encounters with said person. If you have not, then limit touches to acceptable spots - elbows, knees, mid-back, arms, hands, and in <i>RARE </i>circumstances their hair.<br />
<br />
If you're touching anything else aside from playing footsies, you're entering chancy territory, because anything more than those places can be determined a bit too forward, and unless you know exactly what kind of potential you're talking to, it's best to just play it on the safe side.<br />
<br />
<b><i>(B) Emotionally</i></b><br />
If you can touch the heart strings of the person you're flirting with, then you've advanced past what most people can accomplish when flirting. It's one thing to touch a person physically but to touch someone's emotions, takes practice and care. It shows that you're someone they might want to keep around for awhile, so they're going to be MORE interested in continuing to flirt and chat with you, because they can see that you're a quality person.<br />
<br />
I have no examples of this from my own life, because well... I'm not that good, but think of it like this... let's consider physical touch to be similar to TrueBlood and emotional touch to be similar to "The Notebook" or "Dear John." It takes a more refined "palette" to be able to utilize the second one properly. Everyone can attempt to make Trueblood with fake teeth and a waitress costume, but not everyone can dive into the nuances of a Nicholas Sparks' novel/screenplay.<br />
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">3. Engage</span></u></b><br />
<i>Ask some fucking questions.</i> I am so tired of getting into a session of witty banter where all that happens is... witty banter. Don't get me wrong, there are few things on the planet I love more than a good round of wit and snark mixed in with some sarcasm and quick words, but this a future does not make, because once you get past all that wit, you'll know nothing about that person.<br />
<br />
You need to ask questions. You need to engage them in an actual conversation where you learn a bit more than <i>oh, that's the guy with the great eyes</i> or <i>that's the girl with the killer rack.</i> Knowing something about that person that you can reference or ask about the next time you talk to them, will leave no doubt in that person's mind that you're into them. Remembering that she was going to compete in a triathlon or that he was going to show his dog in the AKC competition will lead into a more in depth flirting relationship.<br />
<br />
<u><b><span style="font-size: large;">4. Commit </span></b></u><br />
If you're about to put yourself out there to chat up that sexy single over there, then you better commit to it. You can't half ass a good flirt. You have to have a system that works for you and commit to using it and commit to using it well and commit to using it with your target.<br />
<br />
For example, when I know I'm going to be doing some hard core flirting with the bartender of my choice, I milk every last ounce of flirt that I have in my flirt-o-dex.<br />
<br />
<b style="font-style: italic;">You can reference my how to get a drink faster than anyone else at the bar list. </b>I'm going to be real with you, this works 90% of the time on male bartenders and 80% of the time on lesbian bartenders. (Yes I just made those statistics up, but trust me it works).<br />
<br />
(1) I commit to leaning over the bar to show my cleavage (<i>I know years of feminism, but if I have them, I might as well use them</i>)(guys this does not work to the same level if you throw your penis up on the bar, in fact, you should probably not do that... it might get you kicked out. You could probably just get away with showing off your strong arms or your strong jaw line).<br />
(2) I commit to plastering that 'damn you sir are one sexy mo-fo smile' on my face.<br />
(3) I commit to making eye contact like there is no tomorrow. SMILE AND MAKE EYE CONTACT.<br />
(4) I commit to lingering slightly too long with the credit card or money while I bat those eye lashes and thank them a bit too profusely... maybe it cheapens me, who knows. I just know it works.<br />
<br />
Trust me on this one ladies and gents, it works every time. Seriously you can ask my friends about this one. If we're in a crowded bar, trying to get a drink, send me to the front lines, because I am always on a mission.<br />
<br />
WHY Does this work? Because I've appealed to the four main emotional and physical desires of every human. Sex, Happiness, Recognition, and Human Companionship. If you appeal to these four main desires, then more often than not, the person you're flirting with will take notice. They'll see that you're committing to flirting with them and that you're interested in them for what/who they are.<br />
<br />
If you can't commit to an idea and be confident in what you're trying to achieve then your target is going to realize it. And when they realize that you're only slightly trying to vie for their attention, they'll turn their attention elsewhere, because face it - you're one in 6 billion and not in a good way.<br />
<br />
<br />
<u><b><span style="font-size: large;">5. Make an Exit</span></b></u><br />
Flirting is all well and good, but the point of a good flirt is to make them want more. What good is flirting an entire night away only to discover the next day that they don't want to talk to you anymore? NONE.<br />
<br />
Knowing when to make the appropriate exit, gives you the advantage in this game of romantic cat and mouse.<br />
<br />
This is another reason as to why you should also have a business card, because sitting there making small talk while he tries to put your phone number into his phone can make the whole situation even more awkward. You want to get in there, make an impression, and leave them wanting more.<br />
<br />
This does not under any circumstance mean you network your way around the bar, it means make a connection and create a lasting impression that leaves them hungry, like Fabio for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!<br />
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<b>So Get Flirting</b></div>
<br />LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-54941009747162248002012-03-28T23:53:00.000-04:002012-03-28T23:53:17.693-04:00How to Meet, Date, and Get Screwed Over By Your BartenderI know lately that my blog posts have been someone on the more depressing side. I'm sorry. I don't intend them to be. I just start writing and whatever comes out is what comes out. This was just the latest post in a string of trying to <b>clear my life of negative relationships</b>, because every now and then I realize something is in a toxic relationship state, so I just let it go... so here is the latest casualty.<br />
<br />
It'll start simple.<br />
You'll walk up to the bar, typically when it's not a crazy Friday/Saturday night, but it might be.<br />
<br />
He'll ask, "What'll it be."<br />
You'll order your drink of the month, whether it's a buttery nipple, a rum and coke, or a Malibu and pineapple.<br />
He'll smile, fix your drink, and then start up a conversation.<br />
<br />
You'll flirt.<br />
He'll flirt.<br />
Sparks will be evident to everyone around you and at the end of the night when you close your tab, he'll write his phone number on your receipt, and you'll shoot him a text.<br />
<br />
You'll go out.<br />
He'll make you dinner.<br />
You'll make him desert.<br />
You'll visit him at work.<br />
He'll visit you on your days off.<br />
Before you know it, you have something. He'll send just the cutest text message ever or the raciest one ever, and somewhere during the year or so you've been seeing him, and somewhere between, "<i>yeah he's nice"</i> and "<i>I don't think it's anything serious</i>," and <i>"he's just my bartender,"</i> you'll start to develop feelings.<br />
<br />
<b>Don't. </b><br />
<br />
When you start to develop those feelings, shit hits the fan.<br />
<br />
You'll text him more.<br />
He'll back off.<br />
You'll try to see him more.<br />
He'll blow you off.<br />
And somewhere in between the feelings of rejection and crushdom, you'll find out you're not the only one.<br />
<br />
How could you be?<br />
He's a bartender. He gets girls throwing themselves at him every day for free drinks and for a little extra special attention. <br />
Sure you'll ask the other bartenders what the deal is, and they'll protect their brethren to the last lie slipping off their tongue about how he's single and only seeing you, but his roommate - wont.<br />
<br />
He'll show you the pictures he took of the two of them at the caps game or at the birthday party. He'll make plans with you at a bar he knows they're going to that night, and you'll meet up, and you'll see - your bartender making googly eyes across the table with some girl whose chin is so large you could land a learjet on it.<br />
<br />
Then you'll know.<br />
You'll know what you knew all along that it couldn't work.<br />
That it wouldn't work.<br />
<br />
But just because you know something in your gut all along doesn't make the hurt any less bearable. It doesn't make the pictures of flowers he sent her on his facebook any less bearable. Everything you wanted, you watch her have.<br />
Everything you thought you had, you watch her have.<br />
<br />
You'll feel used.<br />
You'll feel dejected.<br />
You'll feel like something someone once dumped in the gutter and then walked away as you slipped into the drain.<br />
<br />
And after the cookies and the icecream, you'll set a resolve to move past it.<br />
You'll block his number, because his texts are too persuasive to resist and you know what happens if you don't resist - more hurt, more pain.<br />
<br />
You'll think about unblocking it.<br />
<b><br /></b><br />
<b>Don't. </b><br />
<b><br /></b><br />
Remember that hurt. Because if you resist growing and moving past what you used to have, then you'll fall into the continuous cycle of accepting being cheated on and being the other woman at the exact same time.<br />
<br />
So instead, as you watch her take your place, slowly, as though you were just a faded memory, remember that you're better than that. It's better to be your own person with someone who treats you like you deserve.<br />
<br />
It's better to be just somebody that he used to know.<br />
It's better that he be just somebody that you used to know.<br />
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<i>"Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over.</i></div>
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<i>But had me believing it was always something that I'd done"</i></div>
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<b>Done. </b></div>LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-47654771229650527142012-03-26T03:00:00.000-04:002012-03-26T03:00:31.632-04:00Cooking for One? Try Fresh Diet<br />
<a href="http://www.thefreshdiet.com/singles" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguh5fQQgAntPoXs1MBRhrwIzK-oFTnFoRnfnupenmo3I7FYnvRp4RPLj2B5cnliIyilL15HIYQ3nrRCLm9mMRH3HGdOCMdPguEED7jJMpu8H97LK1JxWMXW103QTSeI9wf5VxzoA3KWok/s200/TFD-00518W_TFD_LOGO_125x125.gif" width="200" /></a>aka, "Count Phone Numbers, Not Calories"<br />
<br />
<br />
After another crazy weekend of drinking and carousing, the LAST thing I want to do is come home on Sunday or any day for that matter and make dinner... for one.<br />
<br />
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE cooking. There is nothing better than coming home at the end of the day walking into your significant other's arms and sharing a great meal that you've made together.<br />
<br />
But, I dont seem to have one of those right now, and since I dont really have any takers aside from Kenny the sloppy drunk fest that asked me to marry him about five minutes after I met him on Saturday night over at the Front Page, I don't really see my dream scenario happening anytime soon.<br />
<br />
BUT<br />
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<br />
There is a solution.<br />
<br />
That's right, you heard me. <br />
<br />
See that food over there. Doesn't it look a-fucking-mazing? Best part about it - No cooking, no calorie counting, and no clean up.<br />
<br />
Oh wait, that wasn't the best part.<br />
<br />
The Fresh Diet delivers 3 fresh, healthy, calorie-controled meals and 2 snacks daily straight to your door. In fact,<b> you could lose 10 pounds your first month</b>.<br />
<br />
Who doesn't want to lose a few LBs to help boost your self-confidence in order to help your potentials see how smoking hot you really are?<br />
<br />
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Recently since I've started on my back to me campaign of not dating guys I don't already know, my dating calendar has started to slip, while my hang out with friend's calendar continues to expand.<br />
<br />
The idea of cooking for just little ole me every meal is actually driving me crazy.<br />
<br />
A day in my culinary delights goes a little something like this...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<u>MY FOOD DIARY AS A SINGLE WOMAN</u><br />
<br />
9:00AM - Pop the thyroid pill, be pissed off I can't eat for an hour.<br />
9:30AM - Look at clock, grumble about how hungry I am.<br />
9:45AM - Sit on the couch ready for work, stare at my watch - impatiently tap fingers while the minutes seem to tick by slower and slower.<br />
10:00AM - Realize that I'm going to be late for work. Grab whatever form of Eggo or PopTart is closest to me as I run out the door.<br />
11:00AM - Begin to feel hungry again.<br />
11:15AM - Look up recipes on the food network.<br />
11:30AM - Look up recipes on epicurious.<br />
11:45AM - Look up recipes on recipe.com<br />
11:55AM - Realize that none of those recipes are an option.<br />
12:00PM - Ponder how good your lunch in the refrigerator is going to taste... typically left over lasagna, spaghetti, pesto, alfredo, diablo, scampi, pasta a la vodka. Saying I eat a lot of pasta would be an understatement. WHO WANTS TO EAT PASTA FOR 14 MEALS IN A WEEK?<br />
3:00PM - Start to feel a bit peckish, dig in the desk for whatever form of halloween candy you left there from coming into work hungover.<br />
3:05PM - Stare at the KitKat wrapper in your hand and wonder how you ate it without realizing it.<br />
3:10PM - Still Hungry, Ponders how good paper would taste with a little bit of salt and pepper.<br />
6:00PM - Rush Home Hungry. Open the refrigerator. Open the pantry. Open the cupbard. Open the freezer. Open the cabinets. Nothing to eat.<br />
6:15PM - Open a box of pasta, because, "hey, it's there!"<br />
6:20PM - Cook more pasta than I need, because, "hey! I'll have leftovers."<br />
<br />
On the weekends I get a bit fancier, because I'm actually a pretty amazing cook, if I do say so myself. You can ask the majority of my ex-boyfriends, they'd probably agree. Except for the poor sap I poisoned with plastic-spoon-laced-gumbo. (Who knew gumbo melts plastic!?)<br />
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Seldom will my meals include vegetables if I'm cooking for one in a rush on a weekday. And my food would NEVER look this fucking good or actually be healthy for me if I'm cooking for just me, myself, and I.<br />
<br />
But if someone else happened to cook it, like in a local state of the art kitchen... and it just so happened to appear on my doorstep and I didn't have to look at pasta for the next 8 weeks, who would I be to complain?<br />
<br />
If it came with breakfast, lunch, dinner, and I didn't have to ponder what sort of snacks I could have with it... who would I be to complain?<br />
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I wouldn't be able to, because are you looking at these meals?<br />
<br />
I wouldn't have to try to stack 50 pasta pots into my dishwasher.<br />
<br />
I wouldn't have to clean up the 50 spoons/forks/knives it took me to make my meals, because all I would need would be the utensils needed to eat it.<br />
<br />
No longer will I have to hang my head in despair and agony because my waist line keeps growing at the same rate my wine bill does, because face it, cooking for one every single night can become a little bit depressing.<br />
<br />
Instead I could use the time it took me to cook my pasta and use that to surf OkCupid or Howaboutwe.com for some cute potentials. Or more likely I could use that valuable time to harass <b>SexyFace</b> or <b>IrishEyes</b> into loving me.<br />
<br />
Curious about trying The Fresh Diet out?<br />
Who wouldn't be?! It's gourmet, healthy, delectably-delicious food delivered to your door!<br />
Check it out - You can receive <b>3 days free with the purchase of a 31 day plan at $29.99 per day. </b>Just use the special discount code, <b>singlmar29</b>.<br />
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<br /></div>
With all the time, energy, and calories I'd save using The Fresh Diet, I'd probably have a boyfriend by the end of Spring, for sure... right?<br />
<br />
I can't be single forever... can I?<br />
<br />LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-67624957654111438212012-03-20T14:31:00.000-04:002012-03-21T00:44:42.166-04:005 Common Texting Mistakes in DatingI am all about the text messages. I've said it time and time again, if you want to contact me and get an answer in a reasonable amount of time. Text me. I love it. It's quick, nearly instantaneous and keeps a certain amount of pressure off both parties communicating.<br />
<br />
With that being said, there are a lot of people out there in the dating-sphere who are doing it WRONG.<br />
<br />
If they're sent to someone you want to date, texts should be fun, engaging, inquisitive, and always concise.<br />
<br />
I could care less what you text your best friend Sally, but if you're looking to keep someone engaged in texting with you and talking with you and dating you, then you need to know that what you're texting could be jeopardizing your dating relationships. This is not a guide to texting your friends... this is a guide on <b>how/how not</b> to text people you're dating.<br />
<br />
The following list of the Five Common Texting Mistakes in Dating are issues that I have seen time and time again, in my own dating life and in the dating lives of others. These aren't fairy tale mistakes, these are dating-trenches issues.<br />
<br />
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Hopefully you haven't done them, but if you have, now you know that you could be the one sabotaging your dating life.<br />
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<b>1. Not Asking Questions </b><br />
If you're trying to engage someone in a little textual banter, then the quickest way to ensure that the person on the other end of the phone understands that you're interested in them and interested in the conversation, is to ask questions.<br />
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Keep in mind that this texting conversation is not a date. It's a supplement to the date that you have had or will have.<br />
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If you ask questions, most people read them and want to respond. And in most responses you will get a question asked back, and then you'll ask a question, and then they'll ask a question, etc...<br />
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This propagates the flow of conversation and you'll learn something about the person you're dating in the meanwhile.<br />
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<b>2. Texting too Often/ Not Quitting While You're Ahead</b><br />
This mistake goes hand in hand with mistake number 3. I can't tell you how many times I get someone who wants to text me every hour they're awake.<br />
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If I'm madly in love with you that's one thing, but if we're still in the fledgling stages of dating, I'm not interested in you texting me ever 20 minutes of the day. In fact, most of those texts that you're sending every 20 minutes are pointless, because there is only so many ways to tell you that I'm editing something. Or that I'm on lunch.<br />
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If we've been on three dates, I dont need to know that your lunch was delicious or that you have a piece of spinach caught in your teeth, ESPECIALLY THROUGH TEXT. Granted if you're dating long distance this might be relevant, but if I plan on seeing you for dinner tonight, I dont need to you regale me with your day as it's happening, because you can tell me at dinner.<br />
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I once met this guy on the internet who we're going to call PsychoPants, and he and I had a great online conversation, and we were planning to go out on a date, so I gave him my number.<br />
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WORST. MISTAKE. OF. MY. LIFE.<br />
<br />
Seriously. Within 48 hours of giving this guy my number, he had essentially texted me over 300 times. Only 1% of those texts had to deal with the date.<br />
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He fucking kamikazed the opportunity to date me, because he didn't quit while he was ahead.<br />
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Granted it was great for me, because I found out within 48 hours that I didn't want to get within 200 miles of this PsychoPants, because he'd probably never leave me alone, but had he texted me to set up the date and then stopped - we would have gone out. He would have had the opportunity to actually talk to me, instead of the barrage of textsanity that occurred.<br />
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And had he not texted me every 5 minutes for the next 4 weeks after I told him it wasn't going to work out, I wouldn't have given him the name PsychoPants.<br />
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Yes, this might be a really intense version of what I'm telling you is a mistake, but to him that was normal. To you texting every hour might be normal, or every time you sit down to eat food might be normal, or every time you go to the restroom.<br />
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I don't know, but I do know that texting too often is the quickest way to the dating chopping block because there's a fine balance between interest and clingy. Make sure you find out what it is, and STICK TO IT.<br />
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<b>3. Texting Without a Purpose</b><br />
Too often one of my friends will get a text from a guy, which says nothing. It'll say, "Ugh bored at work" or "Can't believe these metro delays."<br />
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Well that's nice, but how do you respond to that if you're neither bored at work or taking the metro. With a "yeah work sucks" or a "yeah the metro is always delayed?"<br />
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These texts without a purpose might also drive the person you're trying to woo crazy.<br />
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Let's assume that everyone is busy. Right?<br />
Let's assume that the person you like is at work swamped with a shit ton to do.<br />
Now let's assume that you keep sending these texts every one or two hours and then they feel obligated to respond, but because you're busy or waiting on the metro, you're more likely to respond back, then they feel obligated to respond back and then you text back, and then they don't.<br />
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Now you start to wonder... OMG... do they still like me? Why aren't they responding? Did something happen? Are they dead? Did they find someone else?<br />
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You might think I'm over-exaggerating, but I'm not. This will actually go through some people's minds. And then you're sabotaging your blossoming relationship, because they're not responding, and it's freaking you out, but in truth you're the one that started a pointless texting conversation. See mistakes 4 and 5 to reiterate the fact that while texts are a great place for flirty banter, not using them to launch into something more is due to a lack of using technology to the best of it's abilities.<br />
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<b>4. The Hi Text</b><br />
I have discoursed on <a href="http://single-dc.blogspot.com/2010/07/hi-text.html">this topic</a> before. If you are trying to get someone to be interested in seeing you on a romantic level or attempting to continue the romantic spark you know you have, then sending someone a text with<br />
<br />
"Hi"<br />
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and nothing else, is as ANNOYING as a bad bartender.<br />
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A "Hi" text gives the recipient nothing to respond to, because they don't know the context. Are you saying, "hi," because you want to see them, or do you want to know what they're doing, or do you know that they posted a blog post about you?<br />
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It's unacceptable to just send a "Hi," because in a text a, "hi" means nothing.<br />
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Acceptable "hi" texts aren't made up of one word. If you're thinking about someone then tell them.<br />
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For example you could say, "Hey just wanted to see how you were doing after the st paddy's day craziness"<br />
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Or you could say, "Heya, I just ran across that little book store you were telling me about, you were right, really cute!"<br />
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Or you could say, "I just read the most remarkable article I think you would enjoy."<br />
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As long as it's poignant to the person receiving the text, you can say whatever you want, because while a "hi" text might say I'm thinking about you, a "I just found out that there's a new pizza place opening up that you would like, we should go" text says a whole lot more.<br />
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<b>5. Not Using Texts as a Jumping Board</b><br />
How many times have you stared into the screen of your $300+ phone, stroked it's shiny clean surface and said, "you look beautiful here in the moonlight."<br />
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NEVER. If you have you need some help.<br />
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You can't foster a dating relationship through texts. You can't. You can flirt and banter and make plans through texts, but if you spend more time texting your potential and less time staring into their gorgeous eyes, then you might be doing it wrong.<br />
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Texting is not the only part of dating, in fact it shouldn't even be in the top 5 parts of dating, unless you're in a long distance thingy. To properly experience dating you need to actually GO ON DATES.<br />
Really a novel concept if you think about it.<br />
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Back in the 70s when my parents were dating, they didn't have text messages or instant messages or that weird voice messaging thing I can't remember the name of. They actually had to go and spend time together out in the world. Imagine not relying on social media and technology while dating.<br />
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So that's what you should do too. Not rely on technology as the major factor in your dating life, instead, you should use it as a nudge, so to speak. As in use technology to gain more dates.<br />
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As in,<br />
"Hi, so I was just passing by the Corcoran and remembered that you really liked xyz, and they're having an exhibit this month, wanna go?"<br />
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<br />LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-17305689812492988642012-03-15T01:34:00.000-04:002012-03-15T10:46:18.400-04:00My Birthday WeekendAka, the weekend where I got some face time with <b><a href="http://single-dc.blogspot.com/search/label/sexyface">SexyFace</a></b> and passed up the opportunity for face time with <b><a href="http://single-dc.blogspot.com/search/label/IrishEyes">IrishEyes,</a></b> which I am sooo depressed about.<br />
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Aka, Shoot me in the face.<br />
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Aka, the continued self-sabotaging of my non-existent dating life.... because you have to actually go on dates to have a dating life don't you?<br />
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Aka the weekend where I write a blog post about how I might want to date <b>SexyFace</b>, if you couldn't figure that one out.<br />
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Aka, the weekend where Hh and I lost a drinking contest with a bartender, and I puked in his sink because Hh was already expelling into his toilet.<br />
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Ok<br />
<br />
All jokes aside I actually had a pretty amazing birthday weekend.<br />
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Friday night had been planned for months... When I found out back in December that my birthday was going to be on a Friday, I immediately created a facebook event and invited the main peeps, and told them to block it off.<br />
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You see, I'm not a big, go out and do something extravagant for your birthday kind of person... I'm one of those people that like doing things with the people that matter the most to you in a setting you enjoy.<br />
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So after some Chipotle in Dupont, we hit up my favorite place to party - <a href="http://www.rumorsrestaurant.com/">Rumors</a>. There have been days where I have seriously considered getting a tattoo of their logo, with a note above it that says, "If Found Please Return to Rumors. They know me there."<br />
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For some of you Rumors might just be another bar, or a place to brunch, or that place with the drunk biddies that puked on your shoe in the bathroom at 2:30 a.m. a couple of years ago... (sorry for that).<br />
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For me, it's Cheers.<br />
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I like going places where people know my name... </div>
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I like going places where I dont need to give the bartender my credit card when I first sit down... </div>
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I like going places where the people know what I want, before I want it. </div>
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So that's where I went for my birthday night, and man was it great, at least the parts I remember. There was potentially an hour or two that is completely erased from memory. </div>
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The group got there really early, mainly because I wanted to chit chat with everyone before it got too loud to hear each other over the drone of 80s music. In fact, when we got there, all the tables were still out and the yelling and loud greetings coming from and to us when we walked in might have deterred some business. </div>
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We clambered up to the <u>Bartender Who Charges Too Much</u>, because <b>IrishEyes</b> had a steady stream of people filling up his chairs, and <b>SexyFace</b> and I have a "He Likes Me"/"He Likes Me Not" kind of thing going for us, which we will explore later in this post.</div>
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Friends started to come in as the tables were cleared from the dance floor and the barstools slowly began to disperse. As friends were coming in, I sat down close to Ol' <b>IrishEyes. </b>We leaned across the bar and kissed each other on the cheek. Somehow our light and witty banter about how I was too young to actually be in the bar and he was too old to remember his name turned into this really intense conversation, which led to us staring into each other's eyes trying to empathize with each other, holding each other's hands and patting each other on the shoulder. </div>
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I'm telling you people, <b>IrishEyes</b> is a good guy, when he's not making me do blow jobs on the bar. </div>
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A Blow Job is a drink, people, come on! You drink it without your hands... Not gonna lie, I've always wanted to try to do it, so... </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I tried... </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And epically failed</td></tr>
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We danced. We drank. I had an absolutely great time, because I really have some of the most amazing friends in the world, and I'm so glad they came out for my birthday.<br />
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But at some point in time people trickled out. And before I knew it, it was just me, Blair, and her BF standing down by <b>SexyFace</b>.. how I got from <b>IrishEyes</b> to <b>SexyFace</b> I can't remember. But I did. And I was there. </div>
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After hearing about my birthday, <b>SexyFace</b> offered to give me a lift home as his gift to me, and I jumped on the opportunity, mainly because Blair and her BF had just left, and I couldn't remember whose apartment I was supposed to be crashing at. </div>
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What started as a routine car ride suddenly became a game of 20-questions from HIM. </div>
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I'm normally pretty nonchalant about guys in my life, I don't hound them with questions or beg them to love me, I let them make up their own minds about what they want from me. Usually it's nothing, but after chit-chatting and potentially overanalyzing the following conversation I wanted to know what you guys think...</div>
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When we got to the apartment <b>SexyFace</b> walked me to the door, and as soon as we got there he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into a kiss, his fleece jacket rubbing against my chest. </div>
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"So why isn't your boyfriend taking you home?"</div>
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"We've been over this, I dont have a boyfriend. Why are you not taking your girlfriend home?"</div>
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"Because I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time, I'm kind of a loner. I like being alone and not having someone tying me down, or I've liked that in the past, I dont know about now."</div>
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"I get that. I live by myself it's nice not having to answer to anybody, I guess."</div>
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"So, I'm really glad you let me give you a lift so that we could chat, because I'm gonna be real, I thought you didn't like me."</div>
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"Why would you think that?"</div>
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"I just, nevermind." </div>
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"You sure?" I looked into his eyes trying to figure out what he was thinking. </div>
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"I just thought you didn't like me."</div>
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"Well I've got to like something about you, if I'm letting you kiss me."</div>
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"I'm glad that we got to hang out a bit. It's good to see you."</div>
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"You too, I do like hanging out with you."</div>
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"I haven't brought anyone else out to my house since you were there in October."</div>
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"That long really?" </div>
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"Yeah I mean, I'm a loner, you know. I don't really know who I'd bring out there."</div>
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"I have a hard time believing that, look at you!" </div>
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He shyly tipped his head down, and I reached up and fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. He slowly wrapped his arms around me.</div>
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"I'm glad you invited me out here."</div>
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"You mean invited you to give a drunken girl a ride home?"</div>
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"Yeah, always."</div>
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He smiled his boyish grin and tucked his head again. As he reached for my hand, I touched his cheek before hitting his nose with mine, kind of like a goofy-ass-horse-nuzzle thing, all while I stood up on my tip toes to kiss him.</div>
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We kissed for awhile until it started to get late, and he went home, because he literally lives in the boonies, and he had to get home to take out the pup. </div>
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<br />
Thoughts?<br />
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I don't know what it means, or if it means anything, or if all these questions he asks is just him trying to have a conversation, but it's usually always the same conversation, so I've very confused.<br />
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WHAT DOES IT MEAN!? </div>
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No but seriously, I'm totally open to your interpretations. In fact I'd love some insight. </div>
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So that was Friday night. </div>
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-----------</div>
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<br />
Saturday, Hh and I had Jumbo Slice for the first time ever! (1) It was huge and (2), Man, was that greasy?! </div>
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I also decided that I have a life goal. I want to open a bar. I'm going to call it "<i>With the Cool Kids</i>." So that when someone asks you where you're at, the correct answer will be, <i>"With the Cool Kids."</i></div>
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<b><i>But Sunday is when the fun really happened. </i></b></div>
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<b><i><br /></i></b></div>
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Hh and I were staying on our course of bad food decisions. So of course we had scheduled brunch at Ben's Chili Bowl, mainly because she'd never been there, and because I love cheese fries. </div>
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We ate, then went to hang out at the good ole American University for a few hours, which turned into her cooking us a delicious pot of chili back at her apartment, which turned into us trying to figure out what to do with our lives that evening. </div>
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Of course a night of low-key drinking at The Front Page sounded like a great idea. </div>
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Who knew Sunday night at the Page was movie night?! We sat at the bar with the lively and definitely adorable bartender, while he put in a movie, which the entire bar watched together (seriously, what?!). </div>
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Our low-key evening slowly began to morph as we became more and more acquainted with this new bartender... what was supposed to be low-key turned into a challenge. </div>
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Challenge: <b>We could not out drink the bartender, shot for shot.</b></div>
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When closing time came around, we waited for him to get off shift around 1:45AM. We all waltzed over to CVS, loaded up on snack food, soda, and he picked up some cigs, and then we headed to his place... for the drinking competition. </div>
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Between the three of us, the entire bottle of Jameson was DONE by 3:00AM. </div>
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My guts were DONE at 3:05AM. </div>
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Our new bartender homeboy and I were sitting in the living room, while Hh occupied the bathroom, but by 3:06AM, I couldn't hold it anymore. </div>
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I waltzed over to the bathroom, and heard the tell-tale signs of it's ok to enter. I walked inside and proceeded to puke my ever loving guts out... in the sink. </div>
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And because no bathroom puking party is complete with just two people, our new bartender homeboy joined us... I think he might have tried to plunger out the sink, but by the time the plunger came out, I was done puking and couldn't make any other logical thought except, SLEEP. </div>
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I passed out on his couch - dead to the world. </div>
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<i>Monday</i><br />
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The next morning I woke up to a hangover sent straight from Hades. I threw my shoes on and Hh and I stumbled to her car and made it back to her apartment, where we both slept for another few hours then continued with our bad food decisions, by ordering up a Ledo's pizza.<br />
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Shortly after I left to go home and soak my bad decisions in the bathtub. </div>
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My hangover was not over until close to 8:00PM, and I wish I was making that up. </div>
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8:00PM being the exact time Hh texted me to see if I wanted to go hang out with her and our new bartender friend, which I declined, because (1) my stomach was now singing the tune of "Fuck You." (2) I couldn't imagine driving back into the city, because as much as I adored our new bartender friend, the thought of drinking more made me want to punch something. (3) Who was I really going to get to hang out with? Hh and our new bartender friend? Love Hh, in fact, I had just spent over 28 hours with her and it was AWESOME, but I was really just feeling that the benefits of driving into the city were outweighed by the fact I could just text her from my couch. </div>
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At 8:30PM she sent me a text saying how she, our new bartender friend, and <b>IrishEyes</b> were all hanging out. WHAT?!?! </div>
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Dying. </div>
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Dying. </div>
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Dying. </div>
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Overreacting. </div>
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Had I known that our new bartender friend was biffles with <b>IrishEyes</b> and that me getting up off the couch and driving into the city would have afforded me the opportunity to hang out with him outside of the typical kiss each other over the bar environment, I'd have jumped off my ass in a heartbeat. </div>
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But, I didn't. </div>
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So, I didn't. </div>
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Instead I sat at home wondering what it would be like to hang out with <b>IrishEyes</b> with some friends in a nice low-key situation. </div>
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And in my imagination it was awesome and involved lots of high-fives and bad jokes and inappropriate comments, sprinkled with a lot of laughs and good times. All of which would have been 100X more fun than sitting on the couch. </div>
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And I know what you're thinking. You're wondering how in one blog post I can talk about how I like two guys. </div>
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I do. I like lots of guys. I do. </div>
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This goes back to that <a href="http://single-dc.blogspot.com/2012/03/where-did-all-good-men-go.html">post</a> where I'm crushed out. There is a certain hierarchy of crushdom. I have crushdom tiers of who wins out. </div>
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I realized this while talking to Blair about my evening with <b>SexyFace.</b> She asked me if I would want to be in an exclusive relationship with him.</div>
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Without hesitation I said,<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> "<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">If dating him exclusively was on the table, I'd be allllll over it."</span></span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 10px;">I started thinking about who else in my rolodex, I'd be all over and I come up with one name. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 10px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 10px;"><b>SexyFace</b> - over and over again. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 10px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 10px;">There's a maybe or two in the second tier and then down in the third tier is <b>IrishEyes, </b>probably because I don't know him like I know <b>SexyFace</b>. And I'm going to be real with you readers, from the moment I first asked him for glasses upon glasses upon glasses of water on the night of the great <a href="http://single-dc.blogspot.com/2011/07/where-are-you-taking-me_31.html">Kamikazefest</a>, he's just always put me in a flutter. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 10px;">Christina Perry<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeW0Sl0tNS8"> says it best -</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 10px;">"I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 10px;">But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start"</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 10px;">So while I might have oodles of crushes upon crushes, I'm not a man eater. I said it in my last post, I like these guys for who they are on different levels of like. While I do have this crush on </span><b style="line-height: 10px;">IrishEyes, </b><span style="line-height: 10px;">it's different and can't possibly compare to the one on </span><b style="line-height: 10px;">SexyFace</b><span style="line-height: 10px;">. COME ON! I gave him the nickname </span><b style="line-height: 10px;">SexyFace! </b><span style="line-height: 10px;">I promise he's legit and great! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So anyway, that was my weekend, some great friends, good times, bad decisions, and a parking ticket. (Yep, in my hungover state I forgot to move my car - say goodbye to $50 checking account). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Overall a great weekend. </span></div>
</div>LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-25965376418857695102012-03-12T20:45:00.001-04:002012-03-13T19:18:40.330-04:00Where did all the good men go...... or at least the ones that want to date me.<br />
<br />
I have not been on a date since.... mid January.<br />
<br />
I'm not complaining, because I haven't really felt all that much like going on any. I just like to point out obvious things in order to talk about them.<br />
<br />
The pool of men in my life the last month or so just hasn't inspired me to really go out with anyone. Don't get me wrong, a lot of them are really great guys, but I'm officially in a dating rut.<br />
<br />
The concept of meeting someone from OkCupid bores me. I don't have the urge or the gumption to exert the effort needed to engage in getting to know yet another guy from the online dating world.<br />
<br />
Maybe the urge will hit me again, but I just can't bring myself to toss out anymore self-depreciating humor and witty banter with someone who will probably disappear in one to two months anyway.<br />
<br />
My sense of humor is top-notch-awesome, and I'm tired of wasting quality jokes with guys who don't care. It's EXHAUSTING.<br />
<br />
Personally I think <b>I'm crushed out. </b><br />
<br />
I think I have literally spread my crushes on guys I chat with too thin.<br />
<br />
Yes, I never thought it could happen, but I think I have too many crushes right now and adding anymore just doesn't excite me.<br />
<br />
I want to date someone I know. Not someone I have to blindly go off of the bare bones I pick up from a picture and a paragraph, but someone who knows who I am and knows that I'm awesome and knows that I'm a real person who just wants to cuddle and love. (And someone who preferably has a dog that I can take on walks and play with).<br />
<br />
There's a part of me that wants to text the guys I have crushes on and say, "Here's the deal. I like you, and I'm in the market for someone to date would you like to experience some quality dating with me?"<br />
<br />
But I know that if someone wanted that, they'd already have said something right?<br />
<br />
I don't know. See my problem is I tend to like the loners, or the confirmed old bachelors, or the people who live too far away. And the loners, and the confirmed old bachelors, and the people who live too far away aren't going to one day decide that they want to be tied down, or give up their free-wheeling single life, or move closer to be with me... I'm awesome, but I'm not Moses. I can't perform miracles. I know asking someone to be something they're not is futile, and that's the whole thing.<br />
<br />
I don't want to change them. I like them like they are.<br />
<br />
I like that <b><a href="http://www.single-dc.blogspot.com/2011/10/i-have-redeemed-myself.html">SexyFace</a></b> likes his personal space, because I like my personal space, and I totally respect that. I like that his loner lifestyle has gotten him where he is, because he's successful being him, and I like that.<br />
<br />
I love that <b><a href="http://single-dc.blogspot.com/2011/06/best-pickup-line-i-ever-got.html">Bartender</a> </b>is this confirmed old bachelor living life like he's 21 again. I love that about him because I know that he's on my level with a lot of things, but he's experienced and has a grasp on what's important in life - living how you want to live. I think it's great!<br />
<br />
And I think that <b><a href="http://single-dc.blogspot.com/2012/02/manme-aka-just-stay-still-part-2.html">ManMe</a>'s </b>desire to follow his passions in the faraway lands of Far-away-dom is absolutely awesome. I wouldn't want him to change that for the world. (O.k. maybe a little bit) But there's no guarantee that if he did move closer that anything grand would happen anyway. It could just be a passing fancy.<br />
<br />
That's my deal. I like people for being who they are. I can't change it. I don't want to change it. I know that people are different and exciting and no two people are the exact same, and I crush the guys I crush because I know that. I adore them individually for who they are, not who I want them to be.<br />
<br />
So with that said, I'm exhausted trying to learn new exciting facts about people that just want to know small exciting facts about me. I'm tired of the "blind date" approach. I'm tired of chasing and pursuing and struggling to sound excited about every new prospect that knocks on my door.<br />
<br />
I might not KNOW where all the good men have gone, but hopefully in their journey to wherever they go one of them might find me along the way.<br />
<br />
So I posted all of that just to say - I'm going to sit on my ass and just be me. I'm going to step back and take a little breath and enjoy life. Enjoy the fact that I have awesome friends and a great family and just take time that I normally spend giving low scores in quickmatch via the OkCupid and work on being me. Because I like me.<br />
<br />
And I'll never be one of those girls that gets excited for tulle and tutus. I'll never be one of those girls whose sole purpose in life is to be a size 0 - my love of food outweighs my slight desire to be a size 6 again. I'll never be one of those girls who looks absolutely adorably cute in every single one of their photos. I'll never be one of those girls who doesn't tell you that you have spinach in your teeth.<br />
<br />
That's just not who I am.<br />
I'm a gun-toting, straight-talking, kind-of-shy, self-confident lady who may or may not have to sleep with a night guard because I have ground my teeth into a serious case of some TMJ, and who likes to host dinner parties because I like sharing my cooking abilities with people I care about.<br />
<br />
And maybe since I like people for the way they are and who they are and what they are, someone will come along one day and like me for me, without me having to go on a frickin' safari in the dating savannah to find him.<br />
<br />
<br />LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-40517247738964099352012-03-08T00:30:00.001-05:002012-03-09T15:21:08.930-05:00Quadfecta of Electronic DumpingI was actually never going to post this post. I was going to let it sit here in my unfinished posts, because it was never supposed to be relevant again, but this past week I ran into the guy it's about, and his continued chicken behavior still irks me.<br />
<br />
So ends the story of<b> <a href="http://www.single-dc.blogspot.com/2011/09/sunday-night-success.html">NotBen</a>.</b><br />
<br />
Now I've been dumped a lot of ways. <br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The slow fade. </div>
<div>
The cold turkey. </div>
<div>
<a href="http://www.single-dc.blogspot.com/2011/06/dumped-by-text.html">The text message.</a> (You're still a dick, sir)</div>
<div>
The instant message. (gotta love technology)</div>
<div>
The phone call. </div>
<div>
The in-person. </div>
<div>
The skype. </div>
<div>
The I'm too busy to call you on Thanksgiving because I'm with my family, and you're too needy (I'm sorry, quat?) This was prequealed by the 'I refuse to listen to you cry because your Aunt died. You can read all about this <a href="http://www.single-dc.blogspot.com/2011/11/why-im-still-single-part-1.html">here</a>. (Sometimes I should just read the signs). </div>
<div>
The raging belligerent dumping at 3 a.m. in my dorm hallway because I didn't want to watch "Dawn of the Dead" for the 133rd time (I really can't make this shit up). </div>
<div>
The belligerent naked man cornering me in his room, wondering why I just wont do him... (for starters you're naked - I'm not - and you're not Barney Stinson). </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
AND NOW!!!!!! <--- Now means like 6 months ago when this actually happened.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>The let me tell you through text that I'm going to break up with you via an email... </b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Oh yes. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Ladies and Gentlemen it gets worse than a belligerent former marine beating down your dorm door at 3 a.m. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It gets mental. <br />
<br />
Some of the men in my life are so unhinged and mentally similar to a five year old, that they cannot actually just come out and say - "I want to not date you anymore." </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I realize that I should have figured out that it wasn't going to work since he was a graduate of my alma mater, which is notorious for producing men of "superb stock," who think they're the king of the world when in fact they're actually only getting tail because the ratio is skewed, (70% female to 30% male, and I'm not making that up). I'm just saying women enjoy sexytime as much as menfolk do.<br />
<br />
So women's standards are lowered in order to get some themselves. In fact at my alma mater I can think of maybe 10 guys... in the history of my knowledge of people at AU who aren't complete d-bags when in a 'relationship' with women. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
(I probably just pissed a lot of guys from my alma mater off, but let's be real the majority of them treated the girls like crap because they knew they could get away with it - I'm not saying all of them did, I'm just saying a lot of them). </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But I digressed. ANYWAY. </div>
<div>
I should have known it was going to end quicker than a Roman Candle in the hands of a 12 year old boy, but I had such-HIGH-hopes. He seemed genuine. </div>
<div>
<br />
In fact he had many plusses going for him.<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
He was a friend of a friend, +1 <--- BUILT IN RECOMMENDATION!!!<br />
He was intelligent, +1<br />
He was outgoing, +1<br />
He was sporty, +1<br />
He was following his passions, +1<br />
He was funny, +1<br />
He had a bad boy streak a mile wide, +1<br />
He enjoyed quality fro yo, +1<br />
He was cute! +1<br />
<br />
So me wearing my naive girl panties, completely tossed all care into the wind and said, "Feet, start jumping."<br />
<br />
After both of my feet landed, I hit the ground running. We had a great first date thing, followed by watching a Saint's game together one evening, followed by...<br />
<br />
Nothing<br />
<br />
Nothing<br />
<br />
Nothing<br />
<br />
"Hey, um, I realize you're out of town right now, but when you get back I need my parking pass because I have a friend coming to visit."<br />
<br />
Nothing<br />
<br />
Nothing<br />
<br />
Nothing<br />
<br />
"Hey, I know you're probs crazy busy, just coming back into town, but I really need that parking pass..."<br />
<br />
Nothing<br />
<br />
Nothing<br />
<br />
Nothing<br />
<br />
"Heya, if you're just really not interested in seeing me anymore that's cool, but I need that pass - could you give it to our friend A, and I'll grab it from him."<br />
<br />
Nothing<br />
<br />
Nothing<br />
<br />
Nothing...<br />
<br />
Days pass, until finally...<br />
<br />
TIME: 12:35 A.M, while I'm fast asleep, "I left it on your windshield."<br />
<br />
TIME: 9:30 A.M, when I wake up, "WHAT?!!? YOU LEFT MY PARKING PASS ON MY WINDSHIELD!?!?! OUT IN THE OPEN?!!? IN A KNOWN CRIME AREA?!!??!" <i>(ARE YOU A FUCKING MORON?) </i><br />
<br />
TIME: 9:31 A.M, when I reach my car out of breath and see NOTHING on my windshield, "It's not there you fucking asshole!"<br />
"I'll pay you for it."<br />
"That's not the fucking point. How much do you seriously not want to see me that you couldn't even hand me my parking pass? Am I seriously that horrible of a person?"<br />
"Look, I'm going to send you an email to explain why I can't date you, what's your email address?"<br />
<br />
Now my first thought is (1) does this guy have an STD? (2) Who emails a break-up letter, just call me up and say, "it's not working." I'm a relatively level-headed individual, I get that sometimes it doesn't work out, and (3) How dumb do you have to be to leave a parking pass... OUT IN THE OPEN, on a windshield, in a KNOWN crime area.<br />
<br />
So after I got his text about the email, I sent him my email address...<br />
<br />
Nothing<br />
<br />
Nothing<br />
<br />
Nothing<br />
<br />
You get the idea.<br />
<br />
There's a lot more to the story that I'm leaving out for the sake of our mutual friends who might come across this, but in case you were wondering what else happened, I'll tell you this. When I saw the guy at the event this week, a surge of rage, usually reserved for <b>Dicky MacDickerson</b> swept through my body. The need to rip his face off was strong, but for the sake of my professional career, I decided to lay off the crazy pills.<br />
<br />
He told one of our mutual friends that he couldn't believe I was there, that he needed to apologize for being a class A dickwad.<br />
<br />
He never made it across the room to apologize. In fact, when it was down to just me, our good friend A, and a few of my friends left in the room, he didn't even stop to say bye to HIS FRIEND - A. Nope, instead, he ran out of that room like someone had set fire to his non-existent balls.<br />
<br />
So here's my question to you, the readers. <b>If someone KNOWS they're being a dick/ass/bitch, and will later feel remorse and the need to apologize, why do they act that way in the first place? Isn't it just better to be a good human being, all the time?</b><br />
<b><br /></b><br />
So anyway, I can hear y'all wondering, "what is the <i>POINT</i> of this post?"<br />
<br />
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<br />
I was riding in the car Tuesday with my friend Harm, talking about our dating lives when he said something really poignant.<br />
<br />
"Why can't people just treat other people like human beings?" <--- POINT.<br />
<br />
He also said that today computer screens have completely dehumanized interactions. We act as though there's not another person sitting on the other end of that connection, but there is.<br />
<br />
And he's so fucking right. SO RIGHT. Between all these new methods of dating via the computer and your cell phone with things like circle.s or whatever that site is called, people are becoming less people-y and more detached from human form in our minds, if that makes any sense.<br />
<br />
I admit it. Sometimes I just don't want to face telling someone I don't want to date them anymore, but knowing at the end of the date that it's not going anywhere, is soooooo much better than finding out after you've sent three text messages that show your cute and sassy side, to which they have not responded. So that's what I do. At the end of the date if I'm not feeling the spark or am a little creeped out by their collection of taxidermied rodents, I just say, "you know what I had a lot of fun, I really did, but I'm so sorry, I just don't think a second date would be a good idea."<br />
<br />
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HUMANS SHOULD DO!!!!<br />
<br />
Yes, I am a master of the cold turkey. God, I am a master of the cold turkey, but I know how much that sucks, because I've been on the other side and have felt the chill of its wintery-poultry-smelling grasp. So unless the person is a complete psychopath, see the Marine, I tend to actually own up to not wanting to talk to them in that manner anymore.<br />
<br />
Because the fact of the matter is, we all need to man up.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-55481767800303288612012-03-05T00:41:00.000-05:002012-03-05T01:04:23.164-05:00Single During a CrisisI have had a pretty rough start to 2012.<br />
<br />
Parking tickets. Reduction of my hours at work. Family medical emergencies.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://suddenacceleration.com/">And now this.</a><br />
<br />
My Toyota built car (a first generation Scion) began to accelerate uncontrollably Saturday night sending me from 35 mph to 65 mph in less than 15 seconds, and I wasn't even pushing the gas pedal.<br />
<br />
Since I have no urge to look at my much beloved bright orange xB, named Terrence, and since you could not pay me to get behind the wheel again, I spent the majority of Sunday stuck in my bumblefuck apartment out in the suburbs reading about the rash of Toyota accidents that occurred in the mid/late 2000s.<br />
<br />
The<a href="http://www.insideline.com/toyota/toyota-and-electronic-throttles-cleared-again-in-new-unintended-acceleration-report.html"> latest report</a> I found says that <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2010/aug/11/toyota-inquiry-driver-error">driver error</a>, <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/RunawayToyotas/toyota-declares-acceleration-gas-pedal-problem-fixed/story?id=9719639#.T1PiSXJWrv8">sticky accelerator pedals</a>, and an <a href="http://www.forbes.com/2009/09/29/automobiles-toyota-recall-business-autos-toyota.html">unwieldy floor mat</a> are what has been causing Toyota manufactured vehicles to careen out of control. According to Toyota there is "NOTHING" wrong with the vehicle itself, because they've fixed the problem! But ladies and gentlemen that's a big crock of bullshit.<br />
<br />
My grandfather is one of my most favorite people in the world, and lucky for me, he also spent the tail end of his golden years before retirement working as a car mechanic and body repairman.<br />
<br />
A few months after the first few Toyotas started to accelerate uncontrollably, my grandfather and I were sitting on his porch talking about it. He told me exactly what to do in that situation. Pull out the mat. Push on the brakes with both feet, as hard as you can, flip the car into neutral gear and when you get to a slow speed, put it in park. You can find details of what to do <a href="http://www.wfaa.com/news/consumer/Toyota-gives-advice-for-owners-of-recalled-cars-82831712.html">HERE.</a> Seriously, everyone should read that, because it could save your life.<br />
<br />
I don't necessarily think that the bit about turning off your engine while speeding down the highway without control of your brakes is logically sound, because you can lose the ability to operate your steering wheel (if you have power steering).<br />
<br />
Now I don't know what caused my sudden and horrifying acceleration into the land of the almost bloodied and mangled with bits of metal impaling my flesh, it could be <a href="http://spectrum.ieee.org/riskfactor/computing/it/toyotas-sudden-unintended-acceleration-caused-in-part-by-electronic-interference">electronic problems</a>, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/02/toyota-sudden-acceleration_n_1316597.html">cruise control</a> (which my car does NOT have), or the so-called, "<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/21/toyota-sudden-acceleration-tin-whiskers_n_1221076.html">tin whiskers</a>," that new studies are suggesting, but I'm going to give you a play-by-play of the most horrifying two-minutes of my life.<br />
<br />
Late Saturday night, after watching the new Reese Witherspoon/Chris Pine film with some of my sorority sisters, I packed into my car and began singing to the Adele album playing in my CD player. As I left Bethesda and headed towards NIH, I accelerated my car from the 25 mph to the 35 mph limit increase.<br />
<br />
Everything happening exactly how it has occurred for the year since I've lived out here. Everything very standard. As I approached the hill northbound past Cedar Ln. I pressed on the accelerator to increase my momentum to get me up the hill.<br />
<br />
So far. So good.<br />
<br />
I then eased off the accelerator pedal, but the accelerator pedal didn't ease up with me. Instead, <b>it. kept. going. down</b>. Like a phantom foot pushing it down. I tried the brakes. They were locked up.<br />
<br />
I flashed back to the horrors of the runaway Toyotas and remembered... that Toyota blamed the floor mats! So I immediately ripped my floor mat out from under my feet and threw it in the passenger seat.<br />
<br />
The car continued to accelerate up the hill. I tried the brakes again.<br />
<br />
Nothing.<br />
<br />
I then remembered... Toyota blamed sticky accelerator pedals. (Don't try this at home kids.) Being an expert at driving at slow speeds and picking my cell phone up from between my feet when it falls there during normal driving conditions, I reached down, and tried to pull the gas pedal up. I pulled AS. HARD. AS. I. COULD. I'm not a weak person, by any stretch of the imagination. You can ask this R.A. fellow I made out with my freshman year of college. I've got great upper body strength. I pulled him off the bed (he had to be 285lbs at the time). (It was actually really cute. He was trying to get me to join him on the bed by "fishing" with a lanyard, and I didn't realize what he was doing, so when he "hooked" me I pulled back. Who knew I was that strong). <br />
<br />
Guess what... even though I pulled as hard as I could, the pedal stayed stuck.<br />
<br />
At this point in time, according to the all knowing Toyota, it becomes driver error as to why the gas pedal wont budge... but (1) I wasn't even pushing the fucking pedal and (2) I DONT WANT TO DIE.<br />
<br />
So I flash backed to me and my grandfather, sitting on the porch. Him smoking a cigar, and me sipping a sweet tea.<br />
<br />
"If your car wont stop, push on the brakes like your life depends on it. When you get to a relatively slow speed, slip your car into neutral, and stay clear of other cars. Always remember to stay calm."<br />
<br />
So, I did what any of my cousins and aunts and uncles should do. I took my grandfather's advice.<br />
<br />
As I crested the top of the hill through the stop light at Alta Vista Rd, and looked down at all the cars stopped at the light, and the swift death that would take me. I slammed on my brakes with all the strength one can muster while sitting down in a death trap careening towards a stop light and the point where the red line metro slips under ground between Grosvenor and Medical Center, because my luck, I'd fly onto the tracks into the headlights of an oncoming metro train.<br />
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The brown fence blocks off the redline metro tracks.</div>
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When I got the car slowed down to about 40 mph from the 65 mph it had been at the top of the hill, I slipped the car into neutral, and continued pressing on the brakes, which were still fighting me every inch of the way.<br />
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By the time I was 20 ft away from the intersection and certain death, as cars came flying around the corner of Pooks Hill onto Rockville Pike, I had managed to get my car down to 10 mph. I had no time. I could either force it into park or go swiftly into oncoming traffic in the intersection. So I put it in park, switched on my hazards, and after a few short breaths managed to call my parentals to see who I should call.<br />
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The poor AAA people weren't lucky enough to get calm me though, because by then I had no more reserves, I started crying elephant tears as I sat in the median trying to get them to send me a tow-truck.<br />
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In the past, every time I saw another <a href="http://articles.latimes.com/2009/nov/08/business/fi-toyota-recall8">Toyota send it's passengers to an early grave</a>,<i> I thought, It couldn't happen to me. I drive a Scion, we're so much better.</i> But it did. A 2004 car with less than 60,000 miles on it sent me on a steeple chase of death where victory and survival could only be found in the collected wisdom of my grandfather.<br />
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That's my story. I'm not a dumb person. I didn't panic and push the acceleration pedal while my car rapidly sped up. I managed to remove the floor mat which had supposedly caused death and sudden acceleration in other cases. I also thought to perhaps loosen the "sticky accelerator pedal," which didn't work either. Toyota has something wrong with their cars, and it's not just the Toyotas it's anything manufactured in a Toyota facility. Until they figure it out, driving a Toyota is akin to putting your life in the hands of a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZWPItpu2bM">swift executioner</a>. Their continued negligence in these situations is disgusting, and needs to be seriously investigated. Not this sham of an investigation, which only tells you what isn't wrong with them."<br />
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But that's not the only reason for this post, the second reason that I feel this post is important is because being single during crises is hard. I almost died. I know you hear people say that all the time, but seriously people. Had I not been thinking straight, had my grandfather not been a mechanic, or had I not remembered all those old news stories about the Toyota death traps, I actually might have been on the morning news as another Toyota statistic.<br />
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After the incident, I texted my friend Sam, who is absolutely amazing and came to keep me company. She's absolutely the best. That's the most important thing you can have as a singleton living in Washington, DC - friends. Friends are your best defense against the emotional turmoil of crises and tragic circumstances.<br />
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If I didn't have my friends as a support group, I think I would have gone crazy and packed up my life here a long time ago.<br />
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The most important thing to do when you're post crisis is to get yourself somewhere safe.<br />
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After you're somewhere safe, and you've called 911 or AAA, and help is on the way, call a loved one - family or friend, and talk about it, keeping your panicked emotions inside of you isn't good for your emotional health. You need to talk to someone. Even if all you can manage is broken up words amidst sobs of relief and distress. Call them.<br />
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When everything is over, and you're back in your home or in a safe location, indulge.<br />
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You've just been in a horribly trying situation. You deserve comfort. If a friend volunteers to come over, let them. Let them be there for you. You can't be strong all the time. Vulnerability is human. You can't always put forth a brave face, and if there's anything that can help you through an emotionally difficult time, it's a friend. Indulge in their friendship. Indulge in a plate of cookies. Indulge in a bubble bath and a fluffy warm towel, and a bottle of strong wine. Don't drink to the point of being blind, but if you need a drink to calm your nerves. For all that is good and holy in the world, drink.<br />
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Just always remember during crises, you're not alone.<br />
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You have friends and family who love you and who can take care of you, when you're too flustered to take care of yourself. You don't need to pity yourself and dredge up thoughts about how you need a significant other to wrap you in their arms and hold you until the panic goes away. It's nice if you have that, but as a singleton, most of us don't.<br />
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So remember that as a singleton you have friends who can hug you. You have friends that can be there for you. You have friends that will come over after you've been careening towards a certain death no matter how late to share some fresh baked cookies with you.<br />
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Friends and family are the most important weapons a singleton can have in their arsenal during a crisis. That and the ability to take some deep breaths and calm yourself down.<br />
Just remember that.<br />
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<br />LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-69460543414998507552012-03-02T11:53:00.003-05:002012-03-02T11:53:40.747-05:00Turn Up The Burner, I'm Getting Cold<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Raise your hand if you like someone. </div>
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Now put it down. </div>
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Raise your hand if you like more than one person. </div>
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Raise your hand if you like one person more than the other person. </div>
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Now put it down. </div>
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Raise your hand if you understand the phrase, "they're on my back burner."</div>
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Now put it down. </div>
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Raise your hand if you've done it to someone, and used them, and abused them, and left them high and dry when someone better came along, not once, not twice, but more times than you can count. </div>
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<i><a href="http://hellogiggles.com/the-back-burner">http://hellogiggles.com/the-back-burner</a></i></div>
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You may officially be kind of a jerk. </div>
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Now don't get me wrong, I am ALL about the multi-tasking dating life. I have guys that I date. I have guys that act as my emotional stalwart companions. I have my Scrabble buddies. I have guys that I crush on. I have my bartenders (hey hey!). And I have those guys that are on my periphery should one of the others fail to meet my expectations. <-- no but really this is a carefully constructed pyramid of menfolk, one piece moving could jeopardize the entire system. </div>
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But one thing, I don't do is lie to them about what they are (aside from the guys I have crushes on - can't tell them. It'd upset the whole balance of crushdom). I am all about letting guys know where they stand in my life. I have a life label maker and toss up those labels like no body's business. </div>
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Because, it's one thing to have two people who know exactly where they stand, i.e. a bed buddy and the person you're dating. As long as that bed buddy understands the rules of engagement and isn't going to be asking you to grab some coffee or go meet their parents - no one get hurts. But if your bed buddy starts to get couple-y, you need to redraw the lines. </div>
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And it's another thing, if you're playing those, "I don't want to put labels on it" lines, and you're not a commitment-phobe, because at that point you need to grow up. It's one thing to be a confirmed bachelor/bachelorette who Hugh Hefners their way through life. (Yes I just used Hugh Hefner as a verb). It's another to have a "string of beaus and make them crazy for you." - Anne of Green Gables. </div>
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So often people find the man/girl of their dreams and pursue them with taste and refinement only to discover that slowly they're pushed further and further from the "let's plan dates 3 days to a week ahead of time" and more into the "hey I'm bored/lonely/horny" monthly phase. You notice that the time you spend with each other grows wider, but you still date. You're not a fuck buddy by any means. You've met the friends, hung out on a Saturday night watching a movie without sexytime, but you're clearly not this guy/girl's main priority, because you only see them once every 2/3 months. </div>
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To me that screams, back burner. </div>
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But how do you know if you've been put on the back burner? I have a classic example of back burner vs. backup - using my own, high-quality-completely-not-messed-up-dating-life. </div>
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My <b>backup. </b></div>
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I have a really good guy friend with whom I made a pact. </div>
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You see, when I first got to college, I went to this palm reader in the quad with my friend Lys, <a href="http://workinggirlsmiling.wordpress.com/">you can read her blog here</a>. Now her being her, she asked the palm reader about her career. Me being me (I am a pisces after all) I asked about my love life. "When would I be married!?" Ten years she said. So if I would like to not tempt the fates according to some sketchy palm reader - I have until 2016 to get a ring on it. Never one to buck a chance at a good story, I told my concerns to my guy friend, who agreed that 2016 was a quality year to get married. So a la "My Bestfriend's Wedding" starring Julia Roberts, we made a pact that if neither of us are married/in a serious relationship at that time, our wedding bells will ring. </div>
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I know what you're thinking. Man, um, that's really young to have a marriage pact - that barely gives you time to live out the rest of your twenties. </div>
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Well guess what, I have four babies to pop out so I think that's a great year to have a wedding! Bite me. </div>
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My <b>back burner</b>. </div>
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Once upon a time I met Mr. Kryptonite. I fell into crush faster than you could say, "crush." I had classes with him, we lived in the same building. I sucked at economics, and he was good at them, so he became my study partner. And life went on... And then life involved some kissing... And then life involved some dating... And then life was put on pause. </div>
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Where did he go? Wasn't it just last week we were all over each other like wolverines in heat? A month goes by. Then two. Then Three. Then he pops up again. And life involved some kissing, and some dating, and pause. And then he disappeared again. A few more months and then like a burly jack-in-the-box he popped up, again. </div>
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You can see where this is going. Turns out in those months when I'd never hear from him, he didn't learn how to not talk contrary to what I thought... he was talking and dating other girls, trying to find whatever piece he was missing from his fucked up puzzle.</div>
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Eventually I got fed up with being pushed aside only to be brought back whenever he felt like it, so I moved on. Got myself a boyfriend, started living my happy little life, broke up with boyfriend because I self-sabotage my happy little life, and guess who popped up. </div>
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If you guessed Mr. Kryptonite you win a pat on the back. </div>
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Somehow he had found out I was single. If by now you can't see where this is going, I'll break it down... six years of only getting some attention when the pans on the front burners over heat, is enough to drive a girl insane - like actually, certifiably insane. </div>
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But that's the point. Putting someone consistently on your back burner isn't right. Either give it a go, or let them go. Don't leave someone guessing about whether or not you're into them. Grow a pair of balls and step up to the plate of life. </div>
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If you don't like the idea of only having one person in your dating pool, multi-task that shit. Just make sure everyone in the mix knows where they stand. Act like an adult and handle things in an adult, "let's talk about what I'm looking for" manner. </div>
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Don't consistently throw the same person under the bus every other month because the other ones never work out. Because at the end of the day that person you've thrown there on the back burner will start to resent that you've used them, and then they bubble themselves right off the stove. What are you left with then? A dirty emotional stove to clean. Good luck with that. </div>
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<br /></div>LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-68212483811098672872012-02-27T03:25:00.000-05:002012-03-02T12:01:07.299-05:00Spice Up Your Dating Profile aka Stop with the Duck LipsAre you Single?<br />
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Have you tried online dating? </div>
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Are you an awesome, well-adjusted person with a good smile and a solid head on your shoulders? </div>
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Have you not been getting the responses and the messages you so justly deserve? </div>
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<b>It's probably your pictures. </b><br />
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It would be a lie to say that the first thing that people look at when they see your profile is your "about me" section. The truth is most people immediately hop over to your pictures and give them a once/twice/thrice over. </div>
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I've done the online dating thing now for about 2 years. I come and go in spurts depending on how I'm feeling or varying stages of relationships, but one thing doesn't change. When I'm actively looking for people on dating sites, on the sites with counters that tell me how many people are viewing my profile, I have about 150 views per week, with a 60% message-to rate, and a 80% response rate for the messages sent by me to potentials. </div>
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I'm not the most attractive person on the planet by any means, but I can tell you that I have what I believe are a variety of photographs, which highlight my best qualities, and which can 100% work for you, too! </div>
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So here's my list of photos you should and should not include in your profile. </div>
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You might think, "why should I listen to you?" You don't have to, these are merely suggestions that have worked for me and for my friends. When you combine these five suggested photos (more if you want to) the success rate of receiving messages and having people respond to your profile is high. If you leave one or two out, you'll still have a pretty decent return, but after studying the numbers after removing or adding selected pictures and asking friends for feedback on different people's profiles, I can tell you that these suggestions will boost your online dating numbers. </div>
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<b>Your Main Photo</b></div>
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It should be of you (not your dog), and you alone - crop if it's necessary, but if there's more than one person in your profile photo, I either have one of three reactions (1) WOW his friend is SOOOO much cuter than he is (2) Oh his friend is unattractive... are all his friends unattractive? If we get together and all he has is unattractive friends who am I supposed to set all my single friends up with? <--- sad but an actual thought OR (3) If it's a member of the opposite sex, who the hell is that?!!?! Is it an ex? Is it a best friend with whom they've hooked up and there's weird chemistry there, etc... SO to just prevent these unnecessary thoughts, just keep it to you in your main photo. </div>
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It should feature you from the chest up or closer. But not too close to where it's just your eye, because then potentials start to feel creeped out. You should be genuinely smiling and looking damn cute, just like this guy. </div>
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<a href="http://ak2.okccdn.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/77x14/227x164/0/15088449184891730316.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ak2.okccdn.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/77x14/227x164/0/15088449184891730316.jpeg" /></a></div>
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They should <b>NOT</b> feature you standing in a bathroom mirror and they should not feature your "sexy face," because most of the time - out of context, your sexy face just makes you look indifferent and unapproachable. No one wants to date someone who is indifferent, because it makes us wonder why they're indifferent and what else they could care less about, such as, would that translate over to indifference in your relationship. Subliminal messages are powerful in online dating. You really need to take the time to think about what your pictures are saying. </div>
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<a href="http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/103/45/0brrrjc1ob_188251870-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/103/45/0brrrjc1ob_188251870-2.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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They should <b>NOT </b>feature you standing a mile away, because seriously... I can't see what you look like, and it bothers me. And if it bothers a relatively laid-back single's blogger it probably bothers other people as well. It's better to just give us what we want... which is a medium shot of you looking happy. </div>
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<a href="http://pics.pof.com/dating/95/44/r0nkwda2gi_173331598.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://pics.pof.com/dating/95/44/r0nkwda2gi_173331598.jpg" width="255" /></a></div>
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<b>Your Other Photos</b></div>
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(1) <b>Action Shots</b> - Most people have a wide variety of interests and most of the time someone is standing by with a camera and takes a picture of you doing something that you like doing. You know the photos I'm talking about. You throwing a dodgeball or playing an instrument or swimming with stingrays. These are called your <b>Action Shots. </b>These are important because it shows people that you like doing things, and that you're passionate about them. You should typically have two of these showing different activities - and those activities should <b>NOT</b> include drinking and looking like a drunk hot mess. If you had alcohol prior to that picture being taken. Don't use it. You might think it looks like you're a fun person, but to the majority of people it makes you look like a hot mess. </div>
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Use shots such as this girl lovingly hugging a horse, in a riding hat. She's enjoying what she's doing, and it's pretty obvious. This picture tells me that this girl really loves riding horses and that it's a big part of her life. That's a genuine smile on her face and aside from her awkward pose, she looks pretty damn comfortable up on that horse, which tells me she rides a lot. </div>
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<a href="http://pics.pof.com/dating/81/49/sxzczs55k3_135796127-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="http://pics.pof.com/dating/81/49/sxzczs55k3_135796127-2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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This however is a not so much. "But LoRo, he's lovingly holding up his phone in a winter hat!" Nope. It doesn't work that way. Photos in which you're lovingly holding up a cellphone imply a connection to technology that will interrupt your shared time together. A photo like this to me says that on the first date he's going to pull out his cell phone and put it on the table and check it periodically through the night sending out text messages every so often. </div>
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<a href="http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/96/23/lygkvxyepm_175812490.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/96/23/lygkvxyepm_175812490.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I also, don't necessarily have to see your face in your action shots, side profiles or pictures where your face is partially covered are completely ok, as long as they show you doing something you love doing. </div>
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(2)<b> Group Shot</b> - But LoRo, you just told me to not have anyone else in my picture. I know. I know. But that's your MAIN photo, ie, the photo that acts as your first impression. The photo that connects you to your potential online daters. A<b> Group Shot </b>serves as kind of a built in recommendation. It tells me that (1) people like to hang out with you so (2) you can't be absolutely insane... in theory. It shows that you have friends so that you wont base your entire life around potentials and that you have a healthy social life and can interact with other people. You don't need to have a photo with a bundle of people in it, like this. </div>
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In fact that's the wrong kind of group shot, you want something that implies that the people in the photo know you and are your friends, and that you have an intimate connection with them and can forge lasting bonds of friendship - even if it's just you and one other person (very important - no two shots of you and the gender of people you're trying to date). Your potentials need to know that you have people who would "vouch" for you. </div>
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Something like this that implies friendship </div>
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Not This, because this implies a little something more than friendship, which is made doubly obvious by the fact that he took the time to block off part of her face. </div>
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(3) <b>Body Shot</b> - This shot serves to give people the over all look of you. I'm going to be real with you, most people have a specific body type to which they are attracted. For example I'm attracted to men with broad shoulders and a little extra around the middle, aka the "<a href="http://www.single-dc.blogspot.com/2011/11/dibs-dibs-dibs.html">linebacker</a>" look. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY8jaGs7xJ0">It's what I'm into.</a> So when I see someone who has the rail thin look or the body builder look, most of the time I just hit next. This goes for the majority of people. It's nothing against you or who you are. It just means that for that one person, you are not what they're looking for. It happens. And it's better it happens in the early stages rather than after you've exchanged 50 emails and meet in person only to discover that they're just not going to do it for you. </div>
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Photos like this that show your whole body are great! </div>
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<a href="http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/94/57/rft5qg55kv_171805230-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/94/57/rft5qg55kv_171805230-2.jpg" width="207" /></a></div>
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But if you don't have any, photos which show your upper body work just as well (we're ignoring the fact he's got jello shots for the purpose of this topic).</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXzmMVVuZO3TI_dw7nyhs0WufIjoDT8LiTi5qsxIIdOj0OioQlwg3V01aLoqiRYECOBaGRDwtzBnZxdcDws2zwbZ3pvj7RctU9gEoqOiQhWz1mdHdFOxssaORShoej7k6tQOWKF5COTVE/s1600/erickessler.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXzmMVVuZO3TI_dw7nyhs0WufIjoDT8LiTi5qsxIIdOj0OioQlwg3V01aLoqiRYECOBaGRDwtzBnZxdcDws2zwbZ3pvj7RctU9gEoqOiQhWz1mdHdFOxssaORShoej7k6tQOWKF5COTVE/s320/erickessler.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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However, photos like this imply you're looking for sex and sex only. Funny thing about this girl's profile is that it stated repeatedly that she was looking for a relationship where the guy would treat her like a human being and not a piece of meat. Actions speak louder than words and this action says, take my clothes off, you'll like what you see. Now if you're looking for sex, these are fine, but if not, be careful about what message your sending. </div>
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<a href="http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/104/18/t0reisbu3u_189717112.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/104/18/t0reisbu3u_189717112.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
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And another kind of body shot which works great is something that doubles as an action photo, just like this one. Not only can you see his overall build, but you also know that he likes fishing. If you're uncertain about how many photos you want on your profile, photos like this are great for their duality.<br />
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(4) <b>Personality Shot - </b>Last but definitely not least is the shot that gives me a little knowledge into what your personality is. </div>
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If you're goofy we want to see shots that show you acting a little bit goofy. </div>
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Shots that show you as introspective or deep... orrrr a hipster.</div>
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Shots that show that you care about your beautiful child. </div>
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If you're a little bit more serious, show something serious or toned down. </div>
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If you love your dog, I wanna see you with a picture of your dog... however this shot also shows a don't. DON'T show a picture of you obviously in a car, which is obviously moving, while you're obviously distracted - I don't care how cute your puppy is... Don't. </div>
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Unless your personality is that of a teenage girl, aka too young to actually be on a dating site. Those stupid Myspace photos need to be left in the past on your Myspace page. You know the ones I'm talking about. The obviously self-taken, at arms length, raised above your head to de-emphasize your double chin and to give all the boys a good look down your shirt. These, need to stop. They weren't cute when you were 14 and they're not cute now, because you're not fooling anybody. When a potential meets you in person, they're going to find out you have a double chin. You can't hide that in real life; you just cant. </div>
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And to re-emphasize this point, because most of the time your bathroom is disgusting (not this girl's, but most of the time) Stop with the bathroom pictures. You can be cute as a button, but when you take a photo in the bathroom, all I can think about is you using the bathroom and then I think of poop, because everybody poops, and then I'm turned off and clicking next. </div>
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Also, kissing inanimate objects is only cute when it's a statue or something funny. If there's a picture of you kissing a shoe... you might want to rethink your life decisions. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6fvktYNEb-srY6fTg2x9TW9Fw3wJxpaa0e4-gRSdvg1P2Vmlx5RMxVrxDnzTbqkQ36ToX9CF4nm3NuWj_Zfx8mcYR7c9Ff88s7EWKKLu5wsF02of3NvfLeLAICzCubrwNOIzozV5entw/s1600/OkShoe.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6fvktYNEb-srY6fTg2x9TW9Fw3wJxpaa0e4-gRSdvg1P2Vmlx5RMxVrxDnzTbqkQ36ToX9CF4nm3NuWj_Zfx8mcYR7c9Ff88s7EWKKLu5wsF02of3NvfLeLAICzCubrwNOIzozV5entw/s320/OkShoe.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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And for the love of god and all things good in the world, stop with the frickin' duck face. </div>
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<br /></div>LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-53154821342583187922012-02-24T01:27:00.003-05:002012-02-24T01:44:53.374-05:00How About We... Meet In Real Life, Chemistry Happens Offline<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KP7CcLE9WT0"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/KP7CcLE9WT0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></a></div>
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Since journeying out into the dating world of the DC Metroplex, I have been on countless dates with countless men, and have talked to even more than just those... </div>
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I've tried the bar dates. </div>
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The online dates. </div>
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The friend dates. </div>
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The enemy date. </div>
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The bartender date (hey! hey!).</div>
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The bouncer date. </div>
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The oh my flicking god get your hands off of me date. </div>
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But aside from actual dates... there were the internet dating lackeys. The I'm not going to get out from behind my computer for 6 months because I probably haven't taken a bath guys. </div>
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The Construction Worker</div>
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The Football Coach</div>
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The Merchant Marine</div>
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The Writer</div>
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The Guy From My Hometown</div>
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The Lumberjack in the middle of the creepster woods. </div>
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The Scientist</div>
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The Filmmaker</div>
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The Austin Grill Employee (not saying there's anything wrong with Austin Grill, because I love the place, but... um... I've messaged back and forth with you for 5 weeks, "make a move!")</div>
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The Insurance Salesman</div>
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The Sales Agent for a Sports Team, who turned out to be 10 shades creepier than the marine. </div>
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ETC... </div>
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And from all these dates and all these men and all these internet matchmaking websites of love and happiness, I've learned a few things. </div>
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<b>One</b>... no matter how fricking cute their profile picture is, they could make frankenstein's monster look attractive. They could have the worst personality on the face of the planet. They could only want to talk about their ex-girlfriend all night. They could want to talk about their work drama and ease their troubled minds on the first date, before you've even had a chance to ask how many siblings they have. </div>
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No matter how CUTE you think they look in their pictures, or how adorable their messages read, at the end of the day, there's nothing like meeting them in person and seeing how they interact with you and greater society. </div>
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<b>Two.</b>.. Sitting behind a computer and exchanging fifty batrillion messages back and forth with mr/mrs Right, can never equal the experience of getting to hang out with them and learn about their lives first hand. Seriously, if you met the guy of your dreams through one of your friends, would you automatically insist they find you on facebook and only contact you that way? NO! You wouldn't. You would want to interact with them in real-life. </div>
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You'd want to close down a bar with them and find out that you share a level of nerdy-similarities or that when he smiles, his eyes light up and his chin dimple creases deeper while he nervously looks away, because he wants you to like him back as much as he likes you. You can't appreciate a person's laugh over the internet. You can't appreciate the way they reach for your hand as you cross the street. Meeting someone for that first date, actually taking the time to get out there, is worth all the rocks on the moon. </div>
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<b>Three</b>... Chemistry is irreplaceable. I have kissed a LOT of men. And the one thing I've learned over the years is that there is something, some smell, some intoxicating feeling that comes with the slow lean-in as the seconds become hours and the hours become nights and the nights become forever. </div>
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For example, I have had this tiny crush on this guy, we'll call him - <b>IrishEyes</b>, for years. I see him at my favorite haunts because he works there and through the years we've become better and better acquainted. I'm not going to lie, when he squeezes my hands a rush of dopamine floods my system like nobody's business, and when he leans over to give me a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night, I just about feel my entire body sing. </div>
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So anyway, Mardi Gras this year I ran into ole <b>IrishEyes</b> at the bar as usual, and as I went to close down my tab, I asked how much I owed... </div>
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"A MILLION DOLLARS!!!" </div>
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"But, um, I dont have a million dollars...how about a million kisses!!" </div>
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He leaned towards me as is custom for our after closing time dance and I go to kiss him on the cheek. </div>
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"One" he said. </div>
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"Fiiine, two, three, four,... fifty-three" each kiss brought this smell of hormones and testosterone that screamed at me with the voices of a thousand desires and as I went in for fifty-four, he turned his head, and met my lips with his own and he tenderly kissed me. His lips folded around mine, and the taste of Cocacola which had lingered on his lips a few seconds before now gently fluttered across my tongue as the gentle smell of soap, sweat, and a sheen of cologne lighter than the gossamer wings of a fairy played on his skin. </div>
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He pulled away a few centimeters - his slightly green, flecked with gold eyes searched mine own boring hazel ones, smiling. I smiled back.<br />
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He leaned in closer and brought me back in for fifty-five, and fifty-six, and fifty-seven, and fifty-eight, and after that I lost count. All I could do was fall into those kisses and with each touch of his lips against mine I could feel his nose flare ever so slightly. I don't know what he was experiencing, but on my end. I died. Dopamine flooded my system, and my knees went weak. </div>
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That my friends, can't happen behind a computer. It can't happen in a thousand conversations riddled with witty banter. Because that smell of someone you desire pressing up against your lips and the feelings associated with it, is pure chemistry. </div>
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Trust me. I've kissed a lot of people, and some of them, while they're amazing kissers, leave me wondering what color jacket to wear with my dress tomorrow. When that spark, that pizazz is missing you can't replace it with a thousand conversations. You have to get out there and meet that person face to face and feel the press of their hand in yours and listen to the way their laugh rings from the corners of the room and taste the delicate hope of a first kiss - followed by the lust of the second and third, of course.<br />
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If you're curious to see my own response to the Howaboutwe.com video contest, here it is! </div>
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And That ladies and gentlemen is why chemistry happens offline. And if you feel like I do about where chemistry happens and you fancy yourself a filmmaker, you should check out HowAboutWe.com's video contest. The theme is - Chemistry Happens Offline, and if you're interested, check out this website for more details on how you could win $1500 by making a quick video! </div>
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<span class="s1"><a href="http://www.howaboutwe.com/date-report/what-does-chemistry-happens-offline-mean-to-you-tell-us-and-you-could-win-1500/">http://www.howaboutwe.com/date-report/what-does-chemistry-happens-offline-mean-to-you-tell-us-and-you-could-win-1500/</a></span></div>
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Also interested in trying out <a href="http://www.howaboutwe.com/welcome?t=a&source=edition&channel=content">Howaboutwe.com</a> for yourself? Why? Because they take the online dating, OFFLINE. It's actually pretty interesting, because it's based on date ideas you come up with. ANNNND Right now they're offering a special promotion for 33% off if you use the coupon code <a href="http://www.howaboutwe.com/welcome?t=a&source=edition&channel=content">vdaylove</a> (personally I'm more about the mardi gras love, but that's not the coupon code... is it!?)</div>
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<br /></div>LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448405887794911142.post-24557784289591712772012-02-20T12:49:00.001-05:002012-02-21T10:46:08.661-05:00My Political Opinion - It's my bodyI've always liked politics.<br />
I find them intriguing, engaging, and exciting.<br />
But I also find them boring, divisive, and just plain stupid the majority of the time.<br />
Because most of the time people are so hell-bent on making you believe their point of view that they don't take the time to realize what they believe could seriously affect someone's life.<br />
<br />
When I originally came to Washington, D.C. it was to study politics.<br />
I had BIG plans, people. I was going to be a representative to the Texas State House of Representatives by the time I was 25. I was going to be in the Texas Senate by 30. By 35 I was going to be slanting towards international politics, and by 40 I was going to be an ambassador to Turkey or Greece.... or Aruba (aka Netherlands).<br />
<br />
But after a few months of being yelled at in class for beliefs that the creating new nuclear power plants in various parts of the country was killing off other small towns across America due to the fact that places like Beaumont, TX and Lake Charles, LA wouldn't want to abandon their relatively "safe" oil plants in favor of potentially highly unstable nuclear power plants in what is known hurricane country.<br />
<br />
With the influx of nuclear power plants elsewhere and the demise of oil as a main form of energy, petrochemical/oil plants would no longer be staffed at the current capacities and thousands of people in those areas would lose jobs, which would force them to other cities and thereby turning small town hurricane country into ghost town hurricane country... So I got tired of pushing for a dependence on oil until safer sources of energy, like solar, water, and wind, could have time to grow and catch on in slow to catch on in those same places.<br />
<br />
Needless to say I was blasted repeatedly for my staunch Texan pride, and had to pretty much abandoned my political goals.<br />
<br />
But I digress...<br />
<br />
Now, most of the time I just ignore politics until something really pisses me off.<br />
And in fact, I made a pact with myself that I would try to keep politics off of my blog, because it would most likely piss off some readers, but I'm in Washington, DC land of the politics, and I'm pissed off ladies and gentlemen.<br />
<br />
I'm by no means a feminist. I find the concept of stay at home mom intriguing and potentially desirable if it means I could write on scripts and books and blogs all day.<br />
<br />
But I've become aware of an unsettling trend in politics that keeps popping up it's ugly head and is starting to make me really really upset.<br />
<br />
Government telling me what I as a woman can and cannot do with my own body - for the purpose of this post we're going to be addressing my opinions on Abortion.<br />
<br />
I know half of you stopped reading right there and have already developed an opinion about what I'm going to say, but please stick with me for a second.<br />
<br />
I am neither pro life or pro choice.<br />
<br />
I am pro stop telling me what the f*ck to do and stop telling me how to live my life.<br />
<br />
I am an intelligent, well-bred southern woman, and guess what - it is none of your g-ddamned business to tell me what to do with a baby I may or may not want. I totally accept the fact that yes... if by some divine intervention I get preggers before I'm married and have a little life force inside of me that yes... I made it. It's mine, and it's<b> alive.</b><br />
<br />
You can argue till the cows come home about how it's not alive until this week or that trimester, but guess what...<br />
<br />
If I have a tumor growing inside of me... no matter how small or insignificant it might be. That tumor is still a tumor... it's got a blood source pumping blood into it's little mass of clumping cells and it's a tumor whether you want it to be or not.<br />
<br />
Just because the baby inside of you is one week old or 8 months old, doesn't make it less of a baby. That's like trying to tell me that a plant isn't a plant even if it only has one root and is barely clinging onto survival. A pebble is still a rock. Whatever way you spin it, in my opinion, it's still a baby and it's alive.<br />
<br />
But here's the kicker - much like it's MY CHOICE to cut out a tumor inside of me and have the ugly little mass removed, because it's killing me, or making me look ugly, or ruining my ability to walk/talk/exist, etc...<br />
It's, also, my choice to end the life of that precious little child inside of me too, because it's still technically a part of my body.<br />
MINE. MINE. MINE.<br />
<br />
Would I personally go through with an abortion, probably not, because I think adoption is a wonderful, wonderful thing.<br />
<br />
But if I made the choice to have unprotected sex and somehow turn up preggers, then it's my own fault, and I alone will have to deal with the consequences of knowing that I created life by being irresponsible and that I ended life by being irresponsible.<br />
<br />
Yes. I realize that sometimes horrific things happen where a woman or child winds up pregnant in some unforseen way, but it should not be society telling them... "oh dear, you were raped so you can totally abort that baby."<br />
<br />
Yes. I realize that the father might want a say in whether I have the baby or don't, but at the end of the day it's not the single man that has to deal with carrying a life inside of them for 9 months, feeding it, nurturing it, feeling it grow inside of you.<br />
<br />
It's me as the single woman who would have to find a way to drive myself to the hospital at 2 a.m. on a Wednesday night <b><i>by myself</i></b>. Most guys barely stick around for breakfast, I'm not trusting a one night stand to be there when I need support the most. Life is not like "Knocked Up," aside from the birthing scene, that was actually disgustingly accurate.<br />
<br />
In my humble opinion, it should be the pregnant person's choice. It's their body. It's their psyche that has to deal with the aftermath of holding a child they more than likely didn't want in their arms or dealing with the pain of an ending the promise of future life.<br />
<br />
It's their psyche, not society's that has to go through therapy and group counseling afterwards.<br />
It's their personal pain of thinking about the subject, time and time again when they see pro choicers or pro lifers telling them what they should want and what they should do.<br />
It's their emotional distress every time they see a baby, thinking maybe mine would have looked like that.<br />
<br />
It's not society's.<br />
It's not the churches'<br />
It's not mine.<br />
It's not yours.<br />
It's theirs.<br />
<br />
And some of you will read this and be appalled. You'll think how can she say this stuff. How can she think that it's o.k. for a pregnant lady to kill an innocent life form inside of her that hasn't even had the opportunity to know life.<br />
<br />
I'm going to be real with you. I don't. Personally - I myself do not think that barring extreme circumstances that abortion is the meet and right thing to do. Sometimes however accidents happen before you're ready. I'm not saying that you should be using this as your "back-up method" because that is messed up.<br />
<br />
But who am I to judge how you live your life. I'm no one. The only person whose life I get to judge is mine and trust me, I'm a pretty hard critic.<br />
<br />
And it's not anyone else's business to judge how anyone else lives their life.<br />
<br />
You are totally within your rights to disapprove of what someone does, but at the end of the day... you need to keep your g-ddamned mouth closed, because it's their life and it's their decision to do whatever they want to do.<br />
<br />
It's not your societal obligation to attack people with blood to protest someone who cannot support a child going to have an abortion. It's not your societal obligation to tell other people that they can't use contraception. And it sure as hell is not your societal obligation to tell other people how morally corrupt they are because they're killing God's child. Guess what "judge not lest ye be judged"- you picketing hypocrites!<br />
<br />
All I'm saying is that, I am neither pro choice or pro life. And I'm tired of society trying to push me to pick a side.<br />
<br />
I am pro individual's rights and letting people make their own decisions based on their individual free will.<br />
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Just saying... </div>
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<br />LoRohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00355537360372980413noreply@blogger.com1