Sunday, June 19, 2011

Adjusting to the Solo life

The title of this post may be misleading. Yes, you might be single, but you have great friends, who stick by you and keep you sane/crazy and keep your life exciting. Time spent mulling over what you had or what you could have will only succeed taking away time from having ragers and shin digs or ragerdigs or shinragers... with your friends.

According to science, the brain takes 3 days to adjust to a new environment.
There was an experiment done where people were given a set of glasses that literally mirror the world to make it appear upside down. For three days they continue to view the world as upside down until their brains adjusted and the world appeared mentally right side up. When they took the glasses off, it appeared to them that the actual world was upside down until their minds adjusted, which took 3 more days.

Essentially what I'm trying to posit from this scenario is that the first few days/weeks of being single after a separation from a significant other can be pretty brutal. Your world which seemed right side up is now, upside down, and until your mind adjusts to that fact, it's going to be slow moving trying to figure out how to "walk again" so to speak.

But once you've adjusted you learn some very valuable skills, which you might have thought you lost.

For example.

(1) Mechanics are actually not that hard to interact with. (or something really girly that most guys don't understand.) I now know that I have a sway bar, who knew. Seriously, it takes 206 bones to make the human body, HOW MANY CAR PARTS ARE THERE... I swear there are more car parts than bones.
(2) Sitting solo at Starbucks/Coffeehouse of choice - great place to meet people. (I recommend sitting at the communal tables not the two seaters.) Adjustment is bringing me out of my shell instead of relying on the partner to introduce me to random people...
(3) Solo movie watching, brilliant. I don't have to wonder whether or not my partner is going to appreciate the intricacies of Woody Allen Dialogue.
(4) Having cake and nachos with your friends at 2 a.m. is totally o.k., because there's no one checking up on you.
(5) I can write a single's blog, and have it be kosher.
(6) Flirting... You can flirt with everyone and not have to look over your shoulder.
(7) Summer in the city might be difficult because of all the couple-y activity taking place, but now you can do them with your friends, good bonding time.
(8) Left overs, I don't know about you, but when I cook for a date there's usually nothing left, and I like left overs. So that's a good adjustment.
(9) One of my best friends always changes her hair after breaking up with boyfriends, which is a personal adjustment, to give you that new shine. So appearance adjustments, which make you feel more vibrant and injects your life with new vigor so to speak.
(10) Increase in hours of sleep, for a more vibrant you in the morning, which will lead you to be more positive, which leads to more human interactions, which will eventually lead to less hours of sleep, if you catch my drift.

Those are the little things I've noticed about adjusting to the single life. If you have any others, please toss 'em out there.

So while it might take you a while to readjust to single life. Adjusting takes time, especially if you've been in a long term relationship and you're unsure of your next step, and it might not take 3 days for you to figure it all out. It could take you weeks or months, but at the end of your reintroduction to single-ness, you'll find a renewed bond with your friends and learn how to get out there... and that may include a plethora of evenings spent in Adams Morgan or Dupont, but hey! Everyone needs a little party time.

Good luck and happy hunting.

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