Thursday, August 5, 2010


Oh Facebook, you why do you complicate our lives...

A long time ago, I privatized the crap out of my facebook. I limited my searchability practically down to the people who know my middle name, which is probably around 20 people... but with the recent changes in facebook's privacy settings, somehow mine and a lot of my friend's searchable privacy settings disappeared.

Now normally most people would be worried about potential employers hunting you down and stalking you all the way back to high school, but a recent rash of people most of us haven't talked to since junior high and who despised our guts back in the day have decided that maybe they shouldn't have been so harsh as children...

So enters the Flover.

What is a Flover?
Well for starters I'm not spelling Flower wrong on purpose... a Flover is a person who desires to become your "lover," but can only get to you via facebook, because you're not handing out your phone number or offering them the time of day. I use the word lover lightly, I'm not saying they're deeply, hoplessly in love with you. I'm saying they'll send you messages, and if you decided to be all forgiving and actually friend them, they'll IM you... they'll post on your wall... and they'll try to curry up to your good graces, and maybe, yes, they might have changed from junior high... people can change, but you've moved so far on in your life that you don't care if they changed.

Now there are many ways to deal with a Flover depending on your level of confidence, and for the most part it's the whole Passive, Assertive, Aggressive, or Passive/Aggressive mumbo jumbo, so essentially, ignore, confront, bring up any pent-up frustration and years of aggravation or defriend, but the key part of understanding a Flover is to understand that you, yourself have changed as well.

People grow-up, they grow into their bodies, they become who they're meant to be and in that process they gain all sorts of life aspirations and stories along the way, and what a Flover is trying to do, is to become a part of this new improved you. So, you can revert back to your childhood and shun those who drove you crazy back in the day, or you can accept their passive apology and explore the potentials of a new friendship.

Im not suggesting that every single person from your past that friends you, wants to get into your pants... I'm suggesting that the now overtly friendly ones, who most of the time would slam your locker shut before you were finished grabbing your books, might be interested in getting to know you as an adult, and move past childhood arguments, but only if you'll let them.

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