Wednesday, April 20, 2011


For the past 5 months or so, I have had the following phrase on my dating profile, "...and I can successively use semicolons."

According to my, oh so handy Apple Dictionary the word successive means, "following one another or following others."

I love language. It's one of the most beautiful parts of my day. I live for the poetry in Charlotte Bronte's works. I'm pulled by the characters popping off the page in novels by L.M. Montgomery, and just a few words placed in the appropriate order with perfect comedic diction can send me guffawing over the memoirs of Jen Lancaster.

So it's an understatement to say exactly how important word choice is to me. Now I don't know if guys are just so excited that they speed through my description, or if they are caught up by that 'whloe yu can tel waht wrods a prsoen maens withuot' the spelling being correct theory, which states something along the lines of as long as the first and last letter of a word is included along with the majority of letters that the word possesses, you can infer the word without the parts being in the right place.

If that was a bit convoluted, just go with me. I've watched so many episodes of Bones in the last 24 hours that Temperance Brennan's way of speaking might have rubbed off.

Anyway, the point is, I've gotten no fewer that 36 responses during November through February, saying something along the lines of, "Wow, I'm impressed with your successful use of semicolons," or "maybe you could teach me how to use semicolons, successfully," etc...

I just want to know, if I'm expecting too much from the online dating community. I'm not expecting Ernest Hemingway, but if someone is trying to impress me and entice me to go on a date with them, I'd really hope that they would read my profile thoroughly before making a linguistic fool of themselves.

Now here's the kicker. I can't figure out for the life of me how to delete my dating profile, because POF is ridiculous, and horribly unorganized. So, on top of the successive/successful wording issue I have on my page, I also have the following phrase HEADLINED, "NOT SEEKING NEW DATING APPLICANTS, COMPLETELY CONTENT." This phrase has been up since the middle of March, and if I could tell you of a day in the last month when someone didn't send me a message asking me for a date or wondering if I'd reopen applications for them, it would be news to me.

This is in that same vein as the "A Girl Walks into a Bar" post. Not seeking new people to date doesn't mean if you're hot enough I'll consider you. It means I don't want to date you because you're not my Knight in Suede Shoes. SO! People out there in the online dating world, if you are trying to put your best foot forward in order to peacock about for the peahen of your choice, then remember this little helpful tidbit of advice, "If you don't take the time to read what your potential has written in their carefully worded introduction about themselves, what makes you think that they'll take the time to read your carefully worded introduction."

*steps off soapbox.

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