Recently, I discovered how ironically cyclical my dating life actually is. But cyclical in a God really has an intense sense of humor, and it's driving me crazy. The reason I think he's being so funny... is because I once joked with a friend about going to college to get my MRS. degree. Of course I didn't have time to achieve that on top of my other studies (I was horribly busy with extracurriculars and writing feature length scripts), but he clearly didn't like the joke, so he's showing me; ain't he.
I say this because, actually, I do keep getting closer and closer to marriage... it's just that I keep getting closer to the guys being married.
In fact! I can count it down by numbers about how close to marriage I'm actually getting.
1. About 2 years ago I dated a guy only to discover a couple weeks in, that a few months prior, he had been in the mall buying an engagement ring for his previous-girlfriend... when she called to break up with him. (Horrible isn't it!)
When I found out about this tragedy in his life it only made me think, aw, poor guy. He needs someone to love, in a very Anne Hathaway redoes a Queen song kind of way.
But things with him ended, and up popped number 2.
2. Exactly a year ago I was dating this great guy (or everyone kept telling me how great and sexy he was). Prior to our date-scapades, he had actually been engaged to a gorgeous woman. I'm talking tall, great body, gorgeous features, everything-a-man-could-ask-for-woman. They were engaged for 2 years, until the month before, when she broke up with him, and (oooh lucky me!) I snagged him up. (He's now married to the gorgeous woman).
I viewed his recent nuptials as an effect of our dating. Blinded by jealousy and passion for number 2 (in my mind at least), the other woman realized how much she loved him and true love was allowed to be together. Cause to be honest, I didn't find him that sexy.
Time passed and 3 happened along.
3. At the beginning of the year, I met a guy online, and we hit it off instantly upon meeting. We had a few dates and that's when he dropped the bomb. He wasn't looking for anything serious because his fiance of six years and he had just broken it off, two weeks before dating me. (It ended, which is what led to number 4).
Here's where I began to get cynical. Sure, I could blow off the other two as happenstances of romance. Number 1 had been heart brokenly devastated so nothing was really going to work out, and Number 2 and I were clearly not bound for the train of destiny, which didn't break my heart. But Number 3, had just ridden on a 6 year emotional roller coaster, only to pull me in as he was getting flung out of the seat because he didn't wear a safety belt.
And this final guy is when I realized how vapid my dating life had become.
4. I met a guy at a bar a month or so ago, and he was the sound tech for the band, and we had easy enough conversation; he wasn't bad looking. He asked for my number and Wala! We had a date! The following conversation happened 10 mins into our date.
He says, "So I need to tell you something."
"O.K., I'm open minded, shoot."
"I am technically still married."
Shoot. Me. In The. Face.
I don't know about you, but I'm not that open minded.
WHO DOES THAT! I mean I've seen it in movies, but in real life! WHY would you go out on a date, with someone when you know that you're still MARRIED?
After hitting the all time low in my dating life. I have made a pact with myself.
For the next year, I've decided that if someone is fresh out of engagements or marriage, guess what! I'm not going to date them, because (1) I'm more than a rebound and (2) they're usually the men with the most issues. And really if you're starting a fresh exciting relationship... who wants to date someone with piles and piles issues? & (3) The only kind of people I've yet to date in regards to the whole being married/engaged range is divorced and widowed, and I don't think I'm emotionally ready for either.