Sunday, October 17, 2010

Cut and Run

If you have been a smart dater in the DC area, you've been dating a few people in various ranges of seriousness. Unless that's just not how you roll and then you've been dating just the one or not at all.

But there comes a time in nearly every relationship where it's time to shank a relationship, by which I mean, kill it and run away.

It sounds gruesome I know, but the idea is that of a bandaid, that the quick act of killing a relationship dead is the best.

But how do you know when?
Probably when they've stopped calling... texting... or emailing/messaging you. I'd say that's the safest time to shank it and be done, but in that case they might have shanked you.

So we come to the question of how to do a preemptive shank before you're left wondering, "but he wanted to hook up all of my friends with all of his friends, and now he clearly doesn't even want to hook up with me," or "but weren't we going grocery shopping?"


1. You can see in their eyes the following emotions: shame, hate, disgust, anger, lust (as he/she looks at another person), or fear (BLINDING fear).
2. They don't hug/kiss/f(*% you anymore or have clearly no urge to do so in the future.
3. They stop making plans. If you typically had a weekly/bi-weekly date night/ coffee break/ study break/ eating session and those plans stop happening/ the other party no longer attempts to plan them and they seem uninterested when you try to plan them, probably time to let go.
4. They begin to talk about/ walk about/ eat about/ flirt about with other girls/boys. (even worse if it's in front of you).
5. They ignore you. (I'm not talking you think they're ignoring you, I'm talking they've seen you sitting in the coffee shop, have made eye contact and then run the other way ignoring you). *This feeling here, is probably the worst feeling I've ever experienced in my entire life.
6. They become "busy," for no reasonable reason, and you seem to have the following conversation over and over.
You Call: HEY Hon, how goes it?
Them: Good Good, you?
You: It's crazy, but I just wanted to call and see if we're still on for thursday
Them: Oh, wow, I'm sorry, I don't think so... I'm really busy.
You: well what about next week sometime?
Them: Well I just have so much on next week, and the next, it's not looking so good either.
7. They begin to use you.
Characterized by:
A. They have a long-distance girlfriend they never see, but seem to think dating you would be a great idea.
B. They seem to be only calling you after ten p.m. to see you that night.
C. Can we say, BUY ME SOMETHING.
D. Only will see you in public holding hands at events, never ask you to hang out one on one in private.
8. Your own disinterest.

Some of these you might disagree with. My suggestion is that if you begin to notice a slew of these while in a dating relationship, then maybe it's time to cut your losses and look for a successful relationship elsewhere.

Why? Because you deserve someone who will fight to be with you. You deserve more than just a cursory (or none at all) text message every week or two. You deserve the happiness that you know you deserve.

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