Tuesday, November 2, 2010

It's Better to Know

I have this friend, and recently she went on a first date with a guy whom she wanted to date for a solid while.

She had been fretting over the right texts, the right clothes, the right parties to attend, and she had given a pretty solid go at it.

However, during her supposed-to-be-perfect-date, she discovered, much to her chagrin, that he was moderately to horribly not perfect. I'm not going to go into his flaws, because, that's not my story to tell, but what is my story, however, is this ideal of the perfection for which we strive so hard, crashing down around us.

I'll admit, I've asked friends to check texts, and I've asked them, wait... should I be posting this? And I've asked for help in outfit choices, because, if I'm going to look like an ice skater on a second date, I better look like a damn hot one.

But amidst all this worry and fretting, a part of us, becomes lost.

Imagine a world where you just said what you thought, straight out of your head, you didn't second and third guess every little thing, and you sure as poop didn't buy 4 different kinds of stockings to try out for your perfect date. (cough).

This is the world of you. Yourself. Nothing more, nothing less. Imagine a date where you didn't have to try to be perfect, and you weren't worried about whether or not your hair was out of place, because the person on the date with you, doesn't care. They want to be there with you because they enjoy you, for you. I know it's a hard thought to process, but somewhere in the world, right now, is a person, who will laugh at your worst jokes, who will know that you like silence, and who will know not to fill the silence with uncomfortable chit chatter. Who does all the right things at all the right times, and at times says the exact same thing you say at the exact same time you say it, and it's not annoying, it's cute.

Now imagine that's your perfect.

Isn't it better, to ask someone out, and find out if they're your perfect? Versus, sitting on the sidelines and waiting to see if they MIGHT be your perfect? People today hide behind their shyness. I do. My friends do, but we shouldn't have to worry whether or not the cutie in chem or the hottie on the metro likes us as much as we're heads over heels for them, instead, we need to take the initiative, like my friend from the beginning of this post and Ask. Them. Out. You don't have to ask them on a 5 course dinner, you can ask them to coffee, or the boardwalk, or Annapolis, or something fun, where even if the date turns out to be the worst experience of your life, you still had the opportunity to have fun.

Because, in truth, isn't it better to know that Hottie McGorgeous is 2 fries short of a happy meal, rather than spend the next 2 years pining after him, only to figure out at that time that he moved and forgot the furniture (i.e. the wheel's still turning but the hamster is dead). Or find out that he has some other flaw yet unknown.

The key is, you could buck up now and take the chance, or take 2 years to build up the courage only to realize that your ideal person, is horribly non-ideal. Because isn't it better to know, now?

1 comment:

  1. I like this. very true.
    I was thinking about this kind of the other day. people need to be more transparent! it would make it easier on everyone.


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