Sunday, June 27, 2010

Night In

If you've been single for a while, then you might start to get a bit desperate in your hunt for "the one." It happens to everyone. You can say, "I'm not looking" or "I'm just here to have fun."
But then it hits you.
The couples walking hand in hand start to look younger and younger, and this morning you found a wrinkle showing somewhere on your too charming face.

You've hit the wall.
The relationship wall. It's that km in the marathon where you feel like you're going to break and you have to keep pushing through to find them because if you don't find them now... you feel like you're absolutely going to die.

So you increase your search opportunities. Join a dating site, start asking friends to set you up, start facebook stalking friends of friends and friending them if they live in the same city, and going out every single night, hoping, PRAYING that "the one" will come to your bar/club/hangout tonight.

But there's a problem in all this searching you're doing, you're forgetting a very important person. You've spent so much time looking for "the one" you've forgotten the one in the mirror, yourself.

While single it's very important to maintain a level of saneness and oneness with yourself so that you have your individuality in check. SO THAT when you meet a hottie at a bar you'll be able to express your wants, needs, and desires effectively in order to secure a phone number, potential date, or a little fun for the night.

In order to achieve this oneness you need to set aside time, for yourself every single week. It's my recommendation that a night in away from the hustle and bustle of the crowds at a club gives you the opportunity to rummage through the insanity in your brain and calm it down so that you can be open to new opportunities and people that may arise when you are out the following evening. Knowing who you are allows you to know what you're looking for in "the one." I'm not talking blonde hair, blue eyes. I'm talking a deep level of connection that only eHarmony and you know about.

Without a night in, you begin to lose yourself. You stop thinking about you, and instead only begin to focus on the chase. While the chase is fun, constantly searching and chasing is not. The game becomes the only thing in your life and you lose or suppress that part of you that needs an intimate and deep connection with another human being.

If your desire is to stay single, going out every night is fun, but losing yourself in the process takes you back a step in the search for a future. So make sure that while you're looking for happiness in the arms of another you're also finding happiness within.

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