Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Psycho Vs. Perceived Psycho

As I was riding in the elevator of my library today, I ran into a member of a fraternity and asked him what kind of relationship issues he was having lately. (Gotta find material somewhere right?) And he mentioned that his only issue was that the girl he is dating is in fact a psycho.

This got me wondering about what is considered a psycho in an age when people spit out the phrase awkward like it's candy. Is psycho the new awkward? Let's inspect.

Recently I've heard people being called psychos because they call and get no answer and then follow up with a text and again get no answer, but if we did that with our friends, it wouldn't be considered psycho. It would be considered concerned. So where do we draw the line of psycho vs. just perceived psycho?

A friend of mine a few years ago dated a girl that would send facebook messages to all of his female friends accusing them of having sex with her boyfriend. This girl then got a hold of a few of these friend's phone numbers and called them up at 2 a.m. in the morning and kvetched them out for sleeping with her boyfriend and would demand that they give him the phone. THIS GIRL was a legit psycho. She was desperate, clingy, and just plain mean. She's in no way on the same level as a girl who just wants to have a good time and sends a couple of texts and gives a guy a call, but because of this idea that desperateness leads to stalker status and then psycho behavior it's assumed that when someone sends you a few texts that they're one step away from the insane asylum.

It is my personal belief that people toss around frequently used words a bit too much (psycho, awkward, weird). I've dated psychos and have subsequently received texts that are degrading and insulting from these same men, which in my opinion is just psychotic, after a relationship is over, it's time to move on, stop harping on the past and really stop booty-calling the ex, that's just annoying.

According to Oxford English Dictionary, psychosis is: severe mental illness, characterized by loss of contact with reality and deterioration of intellectual and social functions. An event or act that is continuously repeated over days and weeks is psychotic, especially if that act is received with negativity or scorn. It's the idea that someone has lost their touch with reality and no longer can establish within their mind reality versus imagining a perceived social interaction. The key with understanding whether a girl is psychotic via the communication air waves can only be established with this idea of psychosis in mind.

If it has been established in a relationship (friend, romantic, or acquaintance) that certain texting styles/ time of day of communication/ material conveyed through communication/ etc... are acceptable then it should be understood that one party cannot immediately call the other psycho when they reciprocate those communication methods. I.e., if a guy texts a girl at the same time of night every night, for sex, then when that girl texts the guy at the same time of night for the same activity, the guy has no reason to be upset or blow the girl off, because that's their established relationship, and should an outlier in the communication methods arise; i.e., one night of texts and a few phone calls due to inebriation, then the other party should just accept it for what it is and not label the girl a psycho. Essentially a few texts at an established communication time, which follows the same messages as in previous days or weeks, which have been approved by either party is not on the same level of psychosis that involves a random text from a guy/girl calling you a slut at 1 o'clock in the morning, because they don't approve of your night time activities.

I really think people need to just take a step back and think about this idea of what is actually psychotic, instead of just jumping to the most hyperbolic expression available in order to prove a point.

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