Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Rebound Setup

Recently I began talking to an ex again and things seemed to be going fine. I met up with him briefly and let him borrow a movie of mine (which I don't do often, movies are my life). At which point in time he began to beguile me with compliments on my beauty and insist that he missed me more than I could imagine. Flattered I took everything he said with a grain of salt, knowing his character. But at the same time I really tried to believe him.
Until a couple days later when I was told by a mutual friend that this guy was on the verge of dumping his current girlfriend, due to factors unknown.

Maybe I am as beautiful as he said and maybe he really did miss me, but it is this writer's opinion that both of these topics were bullshit and he was just trying to butter me up in order to use me as a rebound as soon as girlfriend was dumped.

In today's fast paced world, people dread the idea of being alone. I do. I'll admit it, and it's this idea that being alone is horrible and comes with the stigma of despair and hopelessness, which drives a single person to stalking potential mates with the same ferocity as a lioness hunting her prey on the Serengeti. Yet at the same time, these people who exhibit chronic relationship status syndrome, have the exact same dilemma. When they sense a relationship on the verge of failure they reach out to ex-es or new prey in order to continue their nightly cuddle sessions or have someone who will take up the mantle of girlfriend after a short, but reasonable time has passed for them to begin seeing this new relationship to its full potential. However, this only succeeds in disallowing people to realize who they are as people and focus on exactly what they want in a future mate.

If you continuously hop from Girl A to Girl B to Girl C to D to E to Fuck this chick is crazy, then you never really understand who you are as an individual and therefore you can't understand what you truly need out of a relationship. All you are doing is hopping from problem set to new problem set and taking on their issues and problems without trying to confront your own issues.

Now if all you want out of life is hook up after hook up, then don't follow my advice on this topic, but if you're actually hoping to meet the One, then people, wake up.

Being single is not the end of the world.
Being single allows you focus on developing who you are and allows you grow in ways that typical relationships hinder you from, because your partner will try to fill in where you lack, and while this is usually what you want when searching for perfection. Finding this perfection too early in life will only succeed in making you weaker.

I'm not saying don't date. Please, do date. Just don't jump into a relationship with the first person that comes along and calls you pretty, because you need to take time to understand what you're looking for, and I'm not talking surface level, like blonde hair and green eyes. I'm talking you need to know what kind of person, (sorry to be cliché) completes you. Jumping into relationships with ex-es just keeps you back pedalling and never allows you to move forward and find new people who might meet your needs better.

So weird-ex-cuddle-person who recently contacted me. You need to step back and reevaluate yourself before you jump into your next relationship, because all you will succeed in doing with this rebound setup you're trying to create is weaken your growth potential.

1 comment:

  1. http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1OInub/osorhan.com/bigo/index.php


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