Friday, September 17, 2010


You know one of the most frustrating part of facebook?
How it instigates jealousy.

Awhile back I had a boyfriend who in one day posted on my wall 20 times, because he wanted to get one post from another guy off being on my main page.

Let's consider. A random guy posts on my wall and my now-ex-boyfriend had to post 20 times in order to feel better about it!?

Facebook allows the world to see your personal life in a long lasting visual media setting that can be clicked on again and again. For many people in the dating scene it's hard to see all the other gorgeous people posting on their potential's wall, because it breeds discontent, hatred, self-loathing, and jealousy.

Personally speaking I have a ton of very strong willed, confident women as friends, but if they're crushing on a guy, all confidence is out the window. It doesn't matter if the guy sent them 20 texts in one day, if they go to his facebook and discover a "Hey, Had a Great Time Last Night, We Should Hang Soon, When Can I See You?!" Message from some girl they've never heard of, they'll immediately feel less gorgeous, less confident, and less of a romantic interest.

I'm not saying that it's your crushes job to ladle endless compliments towards every hour on the hour, but... isn't it!? (JOKE)

And I'm not suggesting that everyone in the world stop trying to hang out with people they're friends with, or stop posting on your friends walls when you haven't seen them in FOREVER. What I'm saying is a little sensitivity. To be perfectly honest, if you're actually friends with someone, you shouldn't need to post on their Facebook wall to say HEYYYY HANG OUT WITH ME. You should be able to send them a text, saying the exact same thing. It's private, intimate, and more personal than a virtual shout out of "hey what's shakin!"

It's the idea that, my now-ex-boyfriend shouldn't have had to post on my wall 20 times to prove that he was the alpha male in my life... he should have just been able to shoot me a text or a call to let me know he cared versus, competing in an online battle over my affection.

It's the idea that virtual society now makes it easier to view and review constantly the object of our affection at anytime of day or night, which subsequently makes it to where they're constantly on our mind.

It's unhealthy. We dig these holes of affection for someone into which we fall in and don't know how to pull ourselves out. The constant need for reinforcement of a person's affection towards us, through facebook and myspace, only confirms our naive ideas that they don't really like us, because they haven't posted, like, every hour on the hour on all of our pictures...

Wake up. Smell the coffee. People need to realize that vying for affection virtually will only blow up in your face. Contact, actual physical, verbal and emotional contact is the only way to guarantee that you're not competing against the entire cast of Pretty Little Liars for your man's affections.

So please, step away from the trackpad and realize that cyber stalking will only hurt you in the end.

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