Sunday, September 12, 2010

"I Want Love" - Elton John

Randomly I was reintroduced to the Elton John song, "I Want Love" today.

With the heart wrenching melody and the very intimate lip-syncing of Robert Downey Jr. in the video, within a month of his emersion from rehab, I began to pay attention to the lyrics with a bit more study than normal.

For those of us, who have loved, lost, been heartbroken, had our hearts trampled on, or were pushed aside, the lyrics to the song, might ring a bit truer than to most, but the message of the chorus has something more, which really sticks out to me as someone dating in today's sea of men.

"But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love, that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love, that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough..."

The first stanza, aka, chorus, has a lot of Elton John's yearnings for his future relationships, speaking towards a love that allows him to be who he is, without judging him. I can't agree with him more. When falling in love with a person, it's most important to realize that you shouldn't just want a love that "won't brick [you] up, won't fence [you] in.." You should need it.

I've noticed one too many of my friends jump into a relationship with a guy, just for the sake of being in a relationship with this cute/handsome/gorgeous guy, only to discover that as they go through a relationship with him, he changes how they interact with friends/ how they view their life/ and how they evaluate their dreams and goals.

A significant other, should never ask you to change who you are, they should never limit you to what they think you're capable of. They should be there to support you and your endeavors, to lift you up.

But a lot of people are so worried about being in a relationship that they forget themselves and just try to please the other person, so that everyone is happy and no one get's hurt, but without stating your feelings/wants/needs you can't learn who the person you're involved with is to the core. You can't get to know their entire being without the conflicts.

I've heard a lot recently in the relationship spectrum that people who have the straight/plain lovey dovey relationships, without the rocks, without the arguments are less likely to last in the long run, because when something tough does come about... they don't know how to deal with it.

I'm not saying have a fight every two days about the same guy texting your girl, but the big conversations about what to do in 5-10 years down the road, the direction your going, should be talked about. Conflicts create compromise and compromising is part of building a great/stable relationship. I'm not saying argue for arguing's sake.

I'm not big on fighting with someone you love, but creating a dialogue about things that you need in a relationship is important, and I really think that it's this idea that John means when he says, "[He's] ready for the rougher stuff/ [he's] had enough of sweet romance." And to be very honest with you, I agree with him. The sweet romance has its part and every relationship should have a bit of that in it, but it needs the rougher stuff in order to make sure that it's a relationship that will last the long haul.

So as you begin thinking about the future of your single life, and the people you begin to become involved with, I think you should just take a listen to Elton John's song, and consider the message that he's trying to tell us.

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