If you haven't seen that... then I highly recommend you take the 4 minutes and 9 seconds it takes to watch it.
I noticed for the past few posts I've been directing my comments to the girls. So guys, here's one just for you.
I've come up with a few scenarios with the help of a few friends, where most of the time, guys wonder, 'what the f*^& is she thinking?'
1. She puts on too much make up.
She's thinking that either her skin tone is really uneven or she's actually insecure in her natural features. It's also possible that she really likes expressing herself with makeup. If you like a girl who puts on too much makeup, you could tell her while she's in her natural state, how gorgeous she looks. This will usually get her to think, wow, maybe I don't need five layers of foundation or the G-d, awful blue eyeshadow.
2. She texts you, 'hey how's it going!'
What she's not thinking is I HATE THIS MAN! She's probably thinking (if you're not close friends) I like him; he's fun; I want to hang out with him. If you're interested it's probably in your best interest to attempt to make plans with her.
3. She's grimacing/Jaw oddly set/she's raising her eyebrow and not in the good way.
I'd say she's unhappy with something you've done. Or she thinks the meat kibbeh tastes oddly like a pumpkin pie. If she's doing all three at the same time, (one) she's talented and (two) she probably doesn't agree with you or is finding some flaw in something you've done. Best to just apologize and move on. She'll forget about it in an hour or two.
4. She's Smiling.
She's happy. What'd you think it meant!?
5. She's smiling awkwardly.
6. She just called you and you're not sure what she wants, because she keeps talking and you're getting confused, because she's not actually trying to make plans, but she keeps going on.
You, sir, have got yourself a talker. She's probably talking about her feelings and things that happened that day. I don't envy you at all. She's thinking that the only relationships that she knows are the ones with her close friends, which involve constantly talking about things that seem very menial to you. However, don't think that she's doing this to make you miserable, in fact, she's doing this because she likes you.
7. She answers her phone during a date.
Unless this is her MOTHER or her FATHER who might be paying for college, and the conversation goes past, "hey mom/dad, I'm busy can I call you back later!?" Then I would say that her interest is beginning to wane, or she might just have poor date etiquette. If it's the former, then I'm sorry... If it's the latter, sucks to be you. She probably has a cat that she talks to all the time too, calling it pooky bear, which isn't actually too bad, until she calls you pooky bear too... which shows that she's masking feelings for her animal towards you, and that's a psychological bird of another feather.
8. She answers your call, or calls you back in like 2 seconds.
She genuinely cares about your feelings and wants to make sure that you understand that you can rely on her to be there if you need her.
9. She takes one look at you and walks the other direction.
Yeah, for those pursuers out there, this does NOT mean she wants to be chased. It means she wants you to leave her the 'eff' alone.
10. She doesn't go in for a hug or acts awkward when you touch her, during a first date or in a group setting.
She probably feels awkward in the new situation. I would recommend a second date, where there's a physical activity that you can interact with her in a more personal way. I wouldn't say that this means automatically that she thinks you're disgusting, unless you chewed with your mouth open the entire time and spit food all over her. She also might be a bit shy, which would explain the lack of touching or physical intimacy, this improves over time.
11. She doesn't respond to your texts or answer your phone calls... like, ever.
I'm sorry she doesn't like you, it's time to move on. There are lots of attractive/fun/awesome girls out there in DC and to hang yourself up on one, who isn't interested is limiting your interaction with the others who probably are.