Saturday, September 25, 2010

It's Horrifying

I recently watched one of the most gruesome films that I've ever seen.

What you need to know about it is that it's called "Dead Snow," and it's intended to be a comedy horror film. As I watched it however, I slowly began to realize how intrisically the film relayed into life. The stereotypes of people within the film were deeply accurate to people you meet in real life and as the people started to die off as the film progressed, I began to realize, O.M.G. This would be a great dating advice blog.

So here it goes.

How to survive the dating pond OR How to NOT die in a horror movie.
1. As everyone knows the first person to die in any horror movie, is the ober slut. Yes you might have the horny guy who spouts off suggestive catch phrases, but the ober slut, usually gets killed because she's besmirched her character and sullied her family name. However as in horror films, it's important in the dating sphere, to not be the ober slut, because no one will respect you. As an ober slut you are throwing yourself at the first available guy and not waiting to get to know the person you're jumping at. While it might feel right to forgo introductions, it's important to know the person you're dating, before you shack up.

2. The first one at the scene/club/bar/party.
Hello desperation, thy name is you. There's a reason the cliché is "fasionably late" and not "fashionably the early bird." No but really. If you're the first person at the party, you either drink more to make the awkward go away, or you stand awkwardly in a corner waiting for people to arrive, at which point, you look like the "awkward girl" who seems just a bit too desperate and awkward. If you're not throwing the party, and you're not the host's best friend, save yourself the sadness and show up later.

3. The person without the personality.
You know those people that die off pretty early in the film, because you just never get to know them. There's no character development. Guess what! It's safe to say that if no one is getting to know you and you're not trying to get to know anyone else that you're going to be forgotten as soon as you walk out of sight.

4. The guy that has only one obsession.
I love movies. I love them a lot. I also love horseback riding, boating, swimming, and cooking. It's called multifaceted. If you only have ONE thing that makes your heart sing, I'm telling you now, you need to get out more. I'm not saying that it's bad to love doing something with a passion, what I'm saying is that if you really love X and not Y, Z, or A and a bloke comes a long who is really passionate about Z and A, but you only care about X, then you're not going to have much to talk about... are you?

5. The one who is consistently funny.
Humor is never a bad thing. In fact, I usually resort to humor in nearly every situation in my life, but there's a time for humor, and there's a time for seriousness, sadness, love, hate, and a plethora of other emotions. It's the same idea as the obsession, unless you have the ability to express a multitude of feelings and are willing to share them with the people you date, then you're only hindering yourself. Cracking up and having a good time is great, but if you're on date 238 and you still haven't had a serious conversation about anything aside from Dane Cook, you might want to reevaluate your relationship.

Who you want to be is number 6.
You want to be you, but at the same time, relationships/dating is about sharing your life with another person in order to discover if you want to share your life with them forever. You can't know that unless you express your fears, hopes, dreams, and goals with that person. You need to discover the compatibility factor. And a huge part of that factor is the ability to grow with your significant other/date/boyfriend/girlfriend. Exploring who you are with another person is the greatest experience, because they see you for who you are and can see and recognize how you've changed as life happens.

So essentially, you want to be a multifaceted person who takes it slow and doesn't show up before the party starts. I'm just saying. :)

If you use this list of who not to be, and who to be, you might just survive the harsh world of a horror film. You might also survive dating, too.

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